Monday, October 31

I've been talking up how one day I'm going to make a post on Gay Marriage to generate controversy and get lots of comments, but after the 116 comment bonanza that came about after REDACTED's anti-terror legislation, it's almost redundant. I don't think I could say anything controversial enough to generate 116 comments, and if I tried I'd just end up saying something stupid like George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People.

But what the hell, let's talk about homo marriage

An in-depth report by Tommy (hehe in-depth)

As I've said before on this blog, I'm a different strokes (hehe strokes) for different folks kinda guy. I don't care who you worship (unless you're a Mormon), who you vote for (unless it's Liberal) or who you want to shag (unless they're ugly). I also believe that people should be allowed to live their lives as they see fit, unless their decisions impact negatively on another person. Which is why I fire up when I hear Mosman Councillor's say brown people aren't welcome, or hear Muslim Clerics defend gang rapes, or see films or games or TV shows get unecessarily censored because they offend some people.

So in 2004, when the Howard Government introduced and passed completely unecessary legislation (they were outlawing something that wasn't legal in the first place) to ban gay marriage in Australia, and were supported by a Labor Opposition who didn't want to get on the wrong side of religious conservatives in an election year, I fired up. And though the legislation doesn't affect me (Freddy Fittler said 'no' when I proposed), I'm still fired up.

Why Freddy :(

Every citizen of this country, no matter who they prefer boning, should be allowed to get married. Every couple should possess the right to have or adopt children. Every couple in the country should be afforded the same rights in regards to superannuation, inheritance, visitation and medical decisions. State-by-state laws are insufficient in giving homosexual couples the same right as heterosexual couples. Discrimination based on sexuality is no different to discrimination based on race or religion, it is immoral and unjust in a modern democracy.

There is a religious argument against gay marriage, and I fully support the rights of churches and parishioners not to condone such unions. However, in the year 2005, marriage is not the sole possession of the Church. Marriage is a Government-recognised, legal agreement -it can be performed outside of Churches by civil celebrants. Churches should be free to express their beliefs in regards to same-sex marriage, but their opposition should not be a consideration in legislation. It's that pesky little 'seperation of Church and State' thingy that always pops up in democracies.

The argument that marriage is the bedrock of 'family values' and any moves to allow homos to tie the knot would 'undermine our social fabric' or would 'pose a threat to society' conveniently ignores the fact that 40% of marriages in this country end in divorce. Call me crazy, but I think if marriage was such an important part of the social fabric of our country, the skyrocketing divorce rate would have done us in ages ago. I fail to see how letting two people who love each other join the ranks is going to have a negative effect on society. How come the thousands of de-facto homosexual couples don't pose a similar threat to society? Do they only generate social upheaval when they share the same last name?

Sesame Street turned deadly when Bert and Ernie finally tied the knot

The above argument also just happens to be the same one used to prevent interracial marriages a century or two ago. A variation on that argument was also used to justify the White Australia policy. In fact, pretty much every advance in civil rights has been opposed by claiming a 'threat' to moral fibre or social values or the moral fabric or bedrock or tradition. Some things are just not worth defending.

I'll probably cop a bit of shit for saying same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt children. It is the worst example of discrimination in the whole bunch. The typical argument is that the most desirable outcome for a child is to have strong female and male role models. It was the same argument used to villify single mothers a few decades ago. And I agree, in a perfect world, every child would have a Mummy and a Daddy wholovedthemverrrryyymuch. And Daddy wouldn't drink. And Mummy wouldn't fuck Daddy's best friend. And they wouldn't get a divorce when the child was 12. And Mummy's new boyfriend wouldn't hit the child when he had a lousy day at work. But in case you haven't noticed yet, the world isn't perfect.

And studies conducted over the last two decades show little difference in the emotional or mental health of children raised by homosexual couples compared to their heterosexual counterparts. A child raised by pillow-biters doesn't necessarily become a pillow-biter. And while some of these studies are criticised for using flawed methodology, there are few studies which show a decidedly negative outcome for children raised by homosexuals.

Call me crazy, but I don't think the sexuality of a child's parents has anything to do with how well they raise their kid. And there are plenty of other scenarios worse than a kid having two mums or two dads, yet I don't see them being outlawed. If a homosexual couple do not have the same rights as a heterosexual couple in regards to adopting and raising children, then neither should single parents.

So yes, that's about it.

Here is a picture of some lesbians.

Saturday, October 29

Tommy's Trip To The Wrestling
A pictorial essay

On Thursday night I went to the Sydney Superdome in Homebush, to see THE WRESTLING~! As a fan of wrestling since I was tiny (as a sperm, I had a 35-minute cage match with wrestling legend Killer Kowalski), I never miss a chance to see the superstars of the WWE pretend to beat each other up (I won by the way, Kowalski had nothing). And because words cannot capture how incredible and beautiful professional wrestling is, here are some pictures (and boy did he get some weird questions after he lost a cage match to a sperm).

First off, a picture of the arena from our seats before it became choc-full of wogs, dickheads, rednecks, kids and Samoan security guards who could crush me with their eyelids:

Now don't let that beautiful, crisp, perfectly balanced shot fool you. I am the world's worst photographer. Isn't that right, Whyms' knee?

But enough about me. Here's The Big Show, a 7"2, 450 pound monster. Or as he's called in this photo, Blurry McBlurryson - the world's biggest blur

The dude in the blue T-Shirt is named Carlito, he is cool. The dude in the white jacket is Eugene, he is a mentally-handicapped person who is also a wrestler. I am not making this up, he's a grown-man playing a retard who wrestles. He brought a Koala Bear to the ring and then bit Carlito on the arse. Again, not making anything up. Except maybe the sperm story at the start, I was more of a fetus.

I am not a religious guy, but the man in the next photo is a wrestling god. He is Ric Flair, he's 56 years old and BLED for us on Thursday night, and based on the following photo, he has a hole in his chest under his left man boob.

And wrestling isn't wrestling without sex appeal, so we were treated to a womens match involving the lovely Trish Stratus and the even lovelier Torrie Wilson. Isn't that right, arse of 500-pound black wrestler Viscera?


Thursday, October 27

This is going to be a hodge podge of a blog because I am not sufficiently fired up to write about one thing. First off, I am declaring a national day of mourning and a TommyIsCoolDotCom-led boycott of Channel Ten for DARING TO AXE GOOD MORNING AUSTRALIA WITH BERT NEWTON@!#

First off - Bert is a living treasure. He is the funniest man on Australian television. He is to Rove what a pile of gold is to an unfunny short piece of shit. And for Channel Ten to axe him just because Mornings with Kerri-Anne is getting double the ratings is nothing short of treason. Luckily because the new anti-terror legislation hasn't been made law, Channel Ten won't be handcuffed and beaten with a pig's head.

Second of all, I don't listen to Triple J very often, only sometimes for Today Today with Chris and Craig. I don't like the other Triple J announcers because they are pretentious tools who pretend to know everything about music and none of them have good radio voices (they need to be more like The Spoonman on Triple M, he is tops). But I was willing to give them a shot when I flicked to 105.7 yesterday to hear them discussing LESBIAN KISSES

woop woop woop woop wooop wooop

But my exuberance and tightening of the pants mwahey was short-lived, because the Triple J announcers decided to discuss the issue of HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION (that will get me a few hits) by talking about 'statistics' and 'the social implications' and 'historical trends'.


So here's a hint Triple J, when you talk about this:



Oh and The B-Team with Merrick and Rosso is the worst show ever

And this blog has not just been an elaborate excuse just so I could post the picture of two girls kissing

Monday, October 24

About a week ago, former Veterans Affairs Minister Dana Vale had the top idea of building a Gallipoli inspired memorial park, and was later bagged out by pretty much everybody in the entire universe. But while some people think its tacky and a crap idea, I think it's great. And I'm kind of honoured, because I had the same idea a while back. I also had a few other ideas for Terrible Moments in Australian History Theme Parks, and I think it's time to share them in a blog I'm going to call

Terrible Moments in Australian History Theme Parks

1. Harold Holt's Wet'n'Wild Park

Ideally located south of Melbourne in Portsea, this water park is a unique educational, wet experience. Recreate Holt's last swim in our authentic beach, go 'All The Way With LBJ' down the 20-foot slide, and then when your day is over, get kidnapped by a Chinese midget submarine!

Somehow, when Prime Minister Holt re-emerged, he possessed the power to change his skin colour to black and white

2. The Ivan Milat Experience

Located in the heart of the Bengalo State Forest, re-trace the steps of serial killer Ivan Milat as he prowls for his latest victim. Take in the sights of the hourly firework show, then learn how to brutally execute a lonely woman and hide her body under a pile of sticks. Extremely popular amongst backpackers.

3. Azaria Chamberlain's Wild Ride

Look out kids! Are those rides at Movie World a little dull? Then sink your teeth into this one! Got a parent you don't really like? Are your parents in a death cult? Does your name mean 'Sacrifice' in a undetermined language? Then hop on board Azaria Chamberlain's Wild Ride, get taken by a dingo and enjoy the fun as your Mum spends a few years in prison! Get Dad in there too and you can eat pizza for dinner EVERY NIGHT!

4. The Sari Clubhouse

A recreation of the popular Bali nightclub, you too can pay the price for years of Indonesians doing jack-all about terrorism in this explosive theme park. Complete with accomodation packages at the Jakarta Marriott, this park is sure to be a blast. And come home with some Sari Clubhouse merchandise, like our T-Shirts:

5. The 2004 Federal Elections: The 3D Experience

The re-election of Howard and Costello for three more years is perhaps the most terrible moment in Australian history since the crowning of Casey Donovan as the Australian Idol in 2004, and this park lets you re-live the wild journey - in 3D! Wince as Latham signs that massive novelty cheque - in 3D! Shudder as he announces his forests policy - in 3D! And cry yourself to sleep as you come to terms with the fact that you just wasted a year of your life following the minute details of a campaign that ended with you huddled in a corner of your room crying like a little fucking baby because that rat faced cunt got re-elected - in 3D! Fun for the whole family, and if you're about to have a baby, entrance is FREE!

Wow, Natasha Scott Despoja's tits look great in 3D

Now, obviously these parks have about as much chance of becoming reality as Phil Kearns does of becoming Father Of The Year, but its the thought that counts. Anyway if you want me I'll be in Hell because of that damn T-Shirt joke.

Thursday, October 20

Well that was fun.


Here is a picture of a puppy

Tuesday, October 18

Here is a guest blog from the man who couldn't be a plane because he only has a left wing, Monsieur REDACTED, The Thong-kicking Faggot

Matthew Reilly is The Worst Author Ever

An analysis of the Howard Government's new anti-terror legislation
Just think for a moment that you didn’t have the fortune to be born white, and that instead you were born with brown skin pigment and had a penchant for turbans and facial hair. Well, if you did, and you lived in Australia, John Howards about to tear you a new one.

Luckily for this guy, not only doesn't he live in Australia, but he was killed in a hit-and-run accident in downtown Kabul in the year 2003.

Howards new anti terrorism laws that he is proposing to rush through the parliament in 2 weeks and the senate in 1 day are going to really suck. Lets look at a few examples of why they suck harder than John Howard when Bush is around.

Say my lady friend ‘skirt’ was of middle eastern appearance and could probably grow more facial hair than the members of ZZ-top. Well, under the new laws she can now be taken and held without being charged for two weeks. They don’t even need any evidence to do so. Once they have abducted her, she is only allowed contact with her family for two hours a day, and all conversations will be closely monitored. If she gets a lawyer, then there is no longer any lawyer-client confidentiality as their convos are monitored as well.

A phone tap

But here is the real kicker, after my lady friend has been gone a couple of days, and I’m starting to get a little worried, her parents can not tell me what happened. If they say that she is being held, then they face 5 years in jail. In Indonesia, a country that kills you when you smuggle drugs, you can mastermind large scale terrorist operations (and impersonate Dr Matt Destruction from the Hives) and get only 30 months in jail, where in Australia you get double that for informing people that their mates are being held by the government.

Cool. Isn’t our government up to date with the world.

Lets consider another example, say I’m wandering out of my favourite kebab place one afternoon. Due to all the hate crimes that have been directed at ‘darkies’ over the past couple of years I have now becme wary of other peoples actions around me. An unmarked van pulls onto the footpath, blocking my way. Instantly, several casually dressed people weilding guns that could have come out of a Matthew Reilly book get out of the van and start advancing on me. I drop my kebab and run in the opposite direction quicker than Bush could say “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.”

We solve problems because we are problem solvers. We eat zucchini because we are zucchini eaters.

The men shout “stop” but I keep running away from the mysterious gunmen. They take aim and fire. Three fire shots that hit me in the chest and one fires several rounds into my head. As my brains begin to ooze out onto the pavement and mix with my blood that is now forming rivers along the cracks in the cement, the gunmen congratulate themselves on a job well done. They nailed a possible bad person as they fled from un-identified gun-toting henchmen. That’s right. Under these new laws, you can get killed for fleeing. And remember, they can pick you up without any evidence so ultimately, you can get killed for just wanting some Jimi’s.

There are pantloads more. Basically, now that he’s figured out a way to undo 50 years of union work in one sweeping lot of industrial relations reforms, Howard has now decided to move back onto a tried and true topic. That is, discriminating against people with better tans than you who speak more than one language.

I guess I’m thankful that I was born white. And Male. And superior to Richie in almost every way.

Sunday, October 16

Those wacky councillors over at Mosman are up to their usual tricks. First they try and beat the shit out of each other and now one of them has said that Muslims would not be welcomed in the suburb. Apparently councillor Dominic Lopez was concerned that "men in flowing gowns and flowing beards" were inspecting the up-for-sale Christian Science property on Military Road.

Now I don't want to jump to conclusions and call Cr. Lopez a bigoted bastard, because 'men in flowing gowns and flowing beards' could well mean something else. I know I'd be pretty pissed if some Jedis moved in up the street from me.

Mmm this watermelon is delicious

You may have heard of a similar incident in Annangrove a few years ago, when those dastardly Muslims tried to practice their faith and build a prayer hall, and 1000 ignorant bigo- citizens sent in letters to their gutless Councillors to get the application defeated. In their defense, they claimed the prayer hall wasn't in 'the public interest' rather than just come straight out and say 'We don't like dem A-rabs'. The defeat was later overturned by the courts, and the hall was built. And then vandalised with pigs blood, just to ram home the point that Annangrove residents don't like brown people.

But back to Cr. Lopez:

Cr Lopez went on to say that wherever mosques were built, nearby properties took longer to sell.

He said: "I had an uncle in Lakemba. They put a mosque at the end of his street, and it changed. When he died it took them a couple of years to sell the house."

Gee, you think maybe the house took a few years to sell because it was in LAKEMBA? No, no it was definitely the mosque. Because there's absolutely no Muslims in Lakemba. And none of them would want to live near the place they have to go to a few times a week. Of course. The logic is brilliant.

And you know what? Lopez will get voted back in with even more votes because he just went and insulted a minority group. I hate people that insult minorities.

The bloody spick.

Friday, October 14

I haven't updated my blog since Tuesday, so I figured I'd post a holdover until I can think of something interesting to write about. Also, I've been having some troubles with ASIO and what not due to all my posts about terrorism, so I've agreed to run my posts through a Government-appointed editor before I post them on my blog. It's a hassle but it's merely a precaution, they've promised me complete creative freedom. Anyway, onto my blog.

I was at the bus stop today, and my foot was itchy, so I went to scr

WorkChoices will introduce a better balance to the existing unfair dismissal laws to encourage, not inhibit, jobs growth.

atch it with my other foot (I was wearing thongs), and I look down and there's this hairy centipede crawling on my foot. So I squish it with my thong

Since 1996 the Australian Government’s workplace relations reforms have contributed to a stable and low inflationary climate. Combined with higher productivity, this has ensured increasing real wages, the lowest unemployment in nearly 30 years and low interest rates for Australian workers and their families.

and it's head detaches from its body right, so I flick away the head and watch the little bugger die as I wait for my bus. And like, this thing has been torn in half, green slime is pouring out of its body, it has no freaking HEAD

Australia needs a more flexible labour market to maximise economic growth and employment opportunities and to maintain and improve Australians’ standard of living in an increasingly globalised economy.

and it's still moving around! I mean holy crap, this is a hardcore centipede. It's literally tearing its body in half again so it can escape, but obviously it can't move because it has no HEAD!

The reforms will:

  • Not cut minimum and award classification wages
  • Not abolish awards
  • Not remove the right to join a union
  • Not take away the right to strike
  • Not outlaw union agreements
  • Not abolish the AIRC.
So anyway, it provided me with some entertainment while I waited for the bus. And that's about the most interesting thing that happened to me today.

John Howard's feces smell like roses

Tuesday, October 11

The thong-kicking faggot sent me a link to this blog the other day. Now, it's got nothing on the Emo Blog I reviewed before, but it definitely has its own homely charm. So without further ado, I present to you...


Image hosted by

Now, the first thing you'll notice here is that the bitch has copied my blog layout. What a mother bitch. When you read through her site, you'll see it's actually quite serious. She's a mother with a verbally abusive husband who makes posts about her mortgage dilemmas and her struggle to decide whether she should be a surrogate mother or not. You know, normal stuff.

But then you read her 100th post. The numbered list is a staple of blogs, particularly those by people who have absolutely no creativity. But Taco Girl's list of '100 Things About Me' is absolutely fantastic. Probably the best thing I've ever read since the page in Latham's diaries when he says 'cunt'. Let's take a look at the best bits.

  • 1. I have green eyes
  • 5. I love Mexican food
  • 6. Especially tacos
  • 7. I load sourcream and/or cheese on just about everything
She starts off normal, she has green eyes, loves Mexican food and sour cream. Then, just when you think it's going to be an entire list devoted to the foods she eats too much of - BAM!
  • 10. I was kind of a slut way back when
Woah nelly. It's safe to say that perked my interest (until I saw a photo of her). But she gets a bit boring after that, talking about her family, her childhood, then her own children before she surprises us again with
  • 27. I had dd when I was 16.
  • 28. I had ds when I was 25.
  • 29. I got married when I was 7 months pregnant with ds.
  • 30. DD's dad is a convicted felon.
BAM! ('DD' and 'DS' are her children by the way") Now we're getting somewhere. She got knocked up when she was a teenager! And then got married! And the first kid's dad is a FELON! Now we're cooking with oil and it's only a third of the way in! Somebody change my pants because this is getting ho-

  • 35. My best friend committed suicide when we were 19.
  • 36. Her name was Sigrid.
  • 37. She died on the railroad tracks.
  • 38. I never had another best- best friend like that.
Ok bitch you totally killed my buzz. Next you're going to tell us some horrible story about how you lost your virginity.
  • 39. I lost my virginity when I was 14.
  • 40. To a 17 year old.
  • 41. Then my family moved me away to the country.
  • 42. I got back with him when I was 19 and already had dd.
  • 43. He killed himself one night after I left his apartment.
  • 44. That fucked me up.
O...kay.... But things are better now right?
  • 45. My husband would KILL me if he knew about this blog.
But your husband aside, your life is ok now though isn't it? Like you're dealing with all these problems? Cause stuff like that could fuck you up.
  • 57. I am probably an alcoholic.
  • 58. I love popping pills too.
  • 59. Xanax= good!
  • 60. I have tried EVERY drug you can think of.
  • 61. Even heroin.
  • 62. I don't do any of that shit now.
Oh. Right. But that's good, number 62, you're over the drugs. That's great to hear. I know some people who get over drug addictions by replacing their drugs with food, so when they want a fix they just have a donut or something.
  • 63. I have an eating disorder.
.... Okay. Well, I guess as long as it's not too bad, everyone kinda has an eating disorder in some way. I only have hot chocolate for breakfast!
  • 66. I love to get eaten out.
Ohhh. That kind of eating disorder. I don't have that.
  • 67. I love Mr. Pink, my trusty vibro.
  • 68. I had a foursome once.
  • 69. My husband couldn't keep it up.
  • 70. That made me feel good in a way. :)
I'm lying. I said I didn't have an eating disorder and right after I read #67 I VOMITED MY LUNCH. I think I'll skip the next few about your freaky sex life. Here's a nice one.
  • 92. I love to cook.
  • 93. I hate to clean.
  • 94. My favorite color is blue.
Aww, I like blue too! Maybe your life isn't so bad after all!
  • 100. I am incapable of being happy.
Oh. You're also incapable of structuring a list so the bits about how you're an ex-junkie anorexic whose childhood was full of unimaginable trauma isn't mixed in with the bits about your favourite colour and how much you enjoy sour cream.

I think Taco Girl should ditch her husband and date this guy.

Monday, October 10

Ok, flashback to this morning, Tommy wakes up with a bleeding nose due to having a cold and blowing and picking it too much (and having nothing to do with the four lines of coke he did the night before). He cleans it up then goes about his day (like making that fancy new logo at the top of the blog)

Cut to Tommy at university in the afternoon, hanging around waiting for a tute to start when he sees his feminazi friend REDACTED. He takes a seat next to REDACTED, who is probably reading some lezbo book, when Joy's manboy REDACTED arrives, and greets Tommy by kicking a THONG AT HIS FACE


So needless to say my nose started bleeding again (IN PUBLIC!!@#) while REDACTED laughs it up and shakes his manboobs like a little fucking ballerina with his stupid hair and shirt that someone shat on while he jacked off as he got peed on by a 64 year old farmer from africa which is the same hellhole where he lived as the slave of a wealthy industrialist who tested dildos on him at night because he is a little thong throwing faggot who i will never forgive for kissing my dream girl at 21st on saturday because he likes it up the bum

And then I had my tute and went home.

Sunday, October 9

As you can see, EMO WEEK 2005 is over and my blog has returned to it's normal, slightly emo format. I also have given it a brand spanking new template which looks really generic and crappy now but which I will twiddle with in the next few days until my blog is the best looking thing since Stephen Hawkings

... twiddle? is that a word?

Saturday, October 8

The pain continues on EMO WEEK 2005, with a special emo audio interview I recorded yesterday with former Opposition Leader and ocassional emo Mark Latham

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

He was late so I cut myself

Download the mp3 emo here (link may die like a cutter who goes too far in a week or so)

Or the .zip emo file here

Wednesday, October 5

i wrote a poem cause textual expression is the only way of ridding myself of the depression of life, art is the only cure for the meloncholy that pervades my soul

it's called CMP

an emo poem by tommy





the pain heals like a bandaid
plugging my tears like a... plug

but cutting my arms

my wrists

my thighs

it wasn't enough
cutting was the solution and the problem
the depression sunk in like a fat girl in a pool
i had to find a new way
a new way to free myself from hell
so i took the knife

and i cut my penis

art is pain

Tuesday, October 4

god I'm sick of my life

i woke up this morning to make my hot chocolate and like I couldn't find my good spoon so i looked and my dad was all like hey you better find that spoon or you wont be able to have hot chocolate and i'm like get out of my life old man you don't rule me

anyway i found the spoon

and a knife too so i could cut myself after

so i had my hot chocloate then my sis calls from werk and shes like hey what do you want for dinner and like fark lah wtf how am i meant to know chicken or sometin

and she's all like well you should pick something up at the shops wtf like i havent got uni work and shit, aint no fuckin way im doin that, if you fukin thing im going to shops today you got another thin coming lah

god does the pain never stop

so anyway i gotta rap this up i gotta go to the shops

Monday, October 3

Geez, you write one blog about Christians and the Muslims start blowing stuff up to get your attention. Pretty sad stuff to read in the paper that one family from Newcastle lost their Mum and a son in the one blast. Not exactly a surprise, and it's bound to happen again, but that doesn't change much. Bali is a Hindu outpost in the most populous Muslim country on the planet. Bali is the island equivalent of Bruce Willis in Die Hard 3 holding the sign saying 'I hate nig*ers' in the middle of Harlem.

Image hosted by

There'll be lots of talk in the next few months about Indonesia taking a hardline against the bombers and plenty of photos of suspected Jemaah Islamiyah terrorists being arrested and paraded around, but most of it is all bullshit considering:

  • Bali Bombing masterminds get 2 years in prison
  • It is still legal to be a member of Jemaah Islamiyah in Indonesia as the Government does not want to run the risk of offending Muslim extremists
One more for the dummies
  • It is still legal to be a member of Jemaah Islamiyah in Indonesia as the Government does not want to run the risk of offending Muslim extremists
And my personal favourite:
So when Bambang says "We will hunt down the perpetrators and bring them to justice." like he did after the blasts on October 1st, what he really means is "We will hunt down the perpetrators and bring them to justice, provided of course they actually exist. Which they don't. Unless I'm talking to John Howard or George Bush. In which case they do. But once I hang up the coconut phone, they don't exist anymore. Yes that's the ticket. That'll buy me some time to work on a new name."

(Yes, Indonesians have a word for "Yes that's the ticket.")

Anyway, the world sucks and the only way to cure the pain is by cutting ourselves