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According to ABC News, former Opposition Leader/Professional Wrestler Mark Latham is releasing his 2004 Election Diary. Now, I was a pretty hardcore Latham fan. I thought he'd make a great PM and still do. He didn't like to bullshit around issues, and you knew he believed in the policies he pushed. He is also not John Howard.

Anyway, my support of Latham wasn't just a one-way thing. Me and Marky Mark go way back. I was the one who told him to call Howard an 'arselicker'. Anyway, because of my lifelong support and my 'get out the vote' efforts in Mitchell, where I single-handedly got a 0.000001% swing towards the ALP Candidate, Mark has sent me an advanced copy of his diary. All unedited. Mind the foul language though, he swears like a sailor. He also has pancreatis, which has nothing to do at all with swearing, but I believe has something to do with the pancreas. Or the 'itis'. I'm not a doctor. Anyway, here's the extracts:


Diary Entry #1 - Sunday, August 29th, 2004

Fucking Howard that big eyebrowed piece of shit arselicking suckhole dickrash.


I know, this is Booker award winning stuff. And I thought Bill Clinton was good with words. Let's take a look at another entry from halfway through the campaign, where Labor's lead in the polls was slipping away.

Diary Entry #2 - Saturday, September 18th, 2004

Fucking howard that piece of shit big eyebrowed dickrash suckhole arselicker.

How did this guy not become PM? Anyway, one final look, that's all his publisher will let me show. Let's see what he said after Howard's re-election.

Diary Entry #3 - Sunday, October 10th, 2004

FUCKING HOWARD THAT BIG EYEBROWED DICKRASEH SUCKEOHLE FUXCKEING COSKSUCEKR ARSE HOLE WITH HISWE FUCEINTEREST RATES FUCKING BEAZLEY

Notice the subtle contrasts with the earlier entries? The way he used the words to paint a picture of his emotions, yet leaving the reader wanting more? I think Mark has a future in writing. Maybe even children's books.