Dear Mr. President, I am writing this letter to your person to describe a wonderfulment opportunity in the country state of Nigeria

I hate Pink. Not the colour. I don't mind the colour, especially when it's bacon. I'm talkin' the singer. I realise she's a pop artist, so we shouldn't really hold her stuff to a very high standard. And I'm not one of those music elitist dickheads, because, after all, I like Bon Jovi.

And my main problem with her isn't so much the music, it's just that it's completely unescapable. I listen only to Triple M, because Triple J shits me and all the other radio stations are for chicks, and even THEY play her.

Cindy Brady: Coke whore

But her latest single 'Dear Mr. President' is a whole other story. You know those really good political songs? Sunday Bloody Sunday? That WIT DER TANKS AND DERR BOMBS AND DERR BOMBS one by The Cranberries? How you knew they were singing about the IRA but it was ok, because it wasn't blatant and the song was good?

This isn't that. This is to political expression what the 'No More Fat Chicks' T-Shirt is to the anorexia debate. Here are some lyrics....

Dear Mr. President,
were you a lonely boy?
are you a lonely boy?
How can you say, no child is left behind?
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
when you pave the road to hell

'Cell' and 'hell'. 'hind' and 'blind'. 'Boy' and 'boy'. Pink, you are a lyrical genius.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
What kind of father might hate his own daugther if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way, from whiskey and cocaine

Dayymmn, bitch be droppin' bombs. Callback to Bush's druggo days, before he "found Jesus"/"wanted to get elected in America". And rhyming 'say' with 'cocaine', it's brilliant. Because the sounds don't actually rhyme, so it's like you're showing Bush that cocaine is wrong because you're a fucking awful songwriter. Deep.

And my favourite bit...

Let me tell you about hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you about hard work
Hard work, hard work, you don't know nothing about hard work
Hard work, hard work

I'm sure Pink works very hard trying to not rhyme 'box' with 'work'. I'm sure it takes hours to say 'You know what, I think I might say hard work twice in this line'. I'm not so sure it compares with running the world's greatest superpower.

But don't just take my word on the song. Here's a fan's thoughts, from our old friend songmeanings.net.



Yes, PunkRockPrincess44, she certainly does have the balls.

SongMeanings.net - Where deaf retards come to post comments

Anyone ever been to SongMeanings.net? It's straight up balla. Like the name suggests, you type in a song, and you get a few dozen fourteen year-old tools telling you why it reminds them of the time their parents divorced.

a screenshot of the site. disregard the porn in the other tab.

Now, obviously it's hard to find gold when you're looking at decent songs. Fans of bands like U2, or Powderfinger aren't going to write shit meanings. You've got to look for the special bands. the Limp Bizkits, the Evanescences, the Green Days, the System of a Downs, the Nelly....s.

Here's what I'm talking about, this meaning from Evanescence's 'My Immortal'...

I cant stop playing this song loud loud loud and with candles and totally losing myself in it. Its relevance to my life is taking my breath away, making me sad and relieving me at the same time. if you've ever loved a narcissist, you will relate to this song. Im addicted to the beauty, the pain of the song. Its so delicate, it makes me weep and introspective.

Yeah, that song totally relieves me too. It also makes me write comments on SongMeanings.net where I change the tense three times in every sentence. And while we're on the soppy songs that make you want to relieve yourself, here's Coldplay's 'Yellow'.

The first time I understood what this song said, I thought it was about his child. Then I thought about my children. The "skin and bones" part reminds me of how children 4 or under are really skinny with round bellies. What really drove it home was the fact that all three of my children had Jaundice when they were a few days old (fairly common) and they looked yellow for about a week after birth.

You know, maybe the song is about his kid. But I'm pretty sure Chris Martin didn't sit down and bang out a best-selling single about jaundice. Unless all of Coldplay's songs are about skin disease, in which case I guess Bittersweet Symphony is about Seborrhoeic dermatitis.

You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah?

Here's another 'Yellow' meaning, which really just speaks for itself.

Well the name yellow goes along with the lights to me when lights and stars shine they are yellow he is saying that his love makes him shine so its yellow. He explains how he would do anything because his lover is shining too thats why he says every thing about the love is yellow. He would do anything to see her shine

I mentioned U2 earlier, so I thought I'd check out one of their most straightforward songs - 'With Or Without You'. Apparently, the meaning is so ambiguous that it requires 155 comments. And you know how I said U2 fans weren't going to write shit comments?

I first heard this song on an episode of Friends. Completely blew me away, for months I tried to track down the name of it.

...

Because the TWELVE TIMES THAT BONO SAYS 'WITH OR WITHOUT YOU' ISN'T A CLUE ABOUT THE TITLE OF THE FREAKING SONG.

but bono, before we discuss third world debt relief, what's the name of that 'with or without you' song?

Aside from being the theme song to one of the best motion pictures of the 20th century, Seal's 'Kiss From A Rose' is also loved by pussies.

This song really relates to me, I loved this girl so much, I see her in my dreams, Im always thinking about her. Im still thinking about her. Well I told her how I felt about her, and right know im feeling nothing but torns.
This song is really helping me out on my tuff times right now. Im still trying to get over her, but the love I feel for her is still there and doesnt want to go away. Sad thing is that she will probally go out with some smuck that doesnt respect her and just uses her and have NO true feelings!
That what really hits me! Why this girl doesnt realize that I love her. I told her straight up! A mystery unsolved, well atleast its better than not telling her i love her. Because i would of always wondered IF she did liked me... Well I know the truth

Good lord, it's a MySpace poem. I'm feeling nothing but torns for you baby.

holy emo batman, i cant believe our movie theme song was so lame and girly
it truly is diabolical robin... wait...how come your suit has nipples?

'Jeremy' by Pearl Jam is about an abused kid who kills himself in class, a subtle point obviously missed by this commenter.

my brother told me what he says in the chorus, and this song is now officially my favorite song lyrically. I'd like to think of it as a kid going crazy and shooting all the popular kids and kids that abused him at his school. DIE ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? YEAH TAKE A FUCKING BULLET IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HEAD!!! ok ill stop now

Yes, you motherfuckers. Who is laughing now?

I also like this comment, because it is funny.

Pearl Jam rocks ~ by the way...what is tea bagging?

Nelly has a song called 'Dilemma'. Apparently it did more than make him lots of money. It lifted an entire country.

"Dilemma" cheered up America because honestly, 2002 was a depressing year. America was reeling in from 9/11, a recession made people lose their jobs.

God bless you, Nelly.

an american hero.... and seriously dude the cut on your face has healed by now

And finally, 'Don't Cha' by the Pussycat Dolls.

THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO KILL EVERYONE seriously some peoples parents are divorced and this song just encourages it this is a pile of shit wankers. and the people who sing it masturbate with mouldy bananas eww think about the meaning it is horrible. i . want. them. to. die. NOW.

This is the best site ever.