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Tommy's Trip To The Wrestling
A pictorial essay


On Thursday night I went to the Sydney Superdome in Homebush, to see THE WRESTLING~! As a fan of wrestling since I was tiny (as a sperm, I had a 35-minute cage match with wrestling legend Killer Kowalski), I never miss a chance to see the superstars of the WWE pretend to beat each other up (I won by the way, Kowalski had nothing). And because words cannot capture how incredible and beautiful professional wrestling is, here are some pictures (and boy did he get some weird questions after he lost a cage match to a sperm).

First off, a picture of the arena from our seats before it became choc-full of wogs, dickheads, rednecks, kids and Samoan security guards who could crush me with their eyelids:


Now don't let that beautiful, crisp, perfectly balanced shot fool you. I am the world's worst photographer. Isn't that right, Whyms' knee?


But enough about me. Here's The Big Show, a 7"2, 450 pound monster. Or as he's called in this photo, Blurry McBlurryson - the world's biggest blur


The dude in the blue T-Shirt is named Carlito, he is cool. The dude in the white jacket is Eugene, he is a mentally-handicapped person who is also a wrestler. I am not making this up, he's a grown-man playing a retard who wrestles. He brought a Koala Bear to the ring and then bit Carlito on the arse. Again, not making anything up. Except maybe the sperm story at the start, I was more of a fetus.


I am not a religious guy, but the man in the next photo is a wrestling god. He is Ric Flair, he's 56 years old and BLED for us on Thursday night, and based on the following photo, he has a hole in his chest under his left man boob.


And wrestling isn't wrestling without sex appeal, so we were treated to a womens match involving the lovely Trish Stratus and the even lovelier Torrie Wilson. Isn't that right, arse of 500-pound black wrestler Viscera?



WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!