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KILL WIL: VOLUME TWO

I've made my beliefs on Wil Anderson pretty clear in the past, so I apologise if this blog sounds like a retread. For those of you lucky enough to not know of this tosspot, he hosts The Glasshouse on ABC, some comedy festivals on Channel Ten and also does tricks on street corners for blow. Allegedly.

But this bastard crossed the line. Not content with plagiarising from his comedic role models like Pauly Shore, Jay Leno and Fatty Vautin, Wil has decided to steal jokes from ME!

YOU'RE NOT EVEN POINTING RIGHT!@#w

Just take a look at the first paragraph of his Sunday Roast column in the Telegraph yesterday.

'I have to admit, I bum sheep for money'

Woops, wrong bit

'I have to admit, I wasn't planning to go and see The Da Vinci Code. I'm still pissed off because I reckon the whole idea is plagiarised from a book I wrote called The Ken Done Code. The only real difference was that, in my novel, by studying tea towels you could prove Jesus was a koala who lived under the Sydney Harbour Bridge.'

!!!!

THAT'S MY SHIT JOKE!

And mine had pictures! And a well-thought out conclusion! And a picture of the kid from the movie Mask!! But noooo, Wil Anderson gets paid to steal my joke and come up with some weakass Jesus is a Koala gimmick. THE FUCKING HEATHEN!!@


So, not only does he steal my lameass Ken Done Code joke, but he goes one better.

Look at the next paragraph.

'Some religious types are very angry at the book/film because they think it misrepresents the Bible. Then there are those who argue it is a work of fiction... so it's exactly like the Bible.'

I'm not going to claim I'm at the forefront of Bible/fiction comedy, it's not exactly fresh material, but I made a similar joke three weeks ago. It's like, rather than coming up with his own stuff, Wil just stumbles into my blog's June archives and picks all the bad jokes. Which is a pretty respectable feat in some respects, because they're so rare LOL!@2000

And you know, I wouldn't normally care if someone ripped off my jokes. I rip off other people's jokes all the time, but I'm not being PAID for it. My blog is FREE Anderson, you're getting MONEY for this crap, so the least you could do is come up with your own material and not steal jokes from a blog whose comedic quality fluctuates more than the fucking Dow Jones.

If my blog was funny enough to make money off it, I'd charge a subscription fee. But it's not Anderson, so stop stealing my jokes and stop ripping off the good people who accidentally read your column before they realise its written by some joke-stealing tosspot with a weak-ass goatee who sucks in saliva after every joke he makes and who is the only person in the word that could make Corrine Grant look funny when you compare her to the predictable boring-ass tripe you call entertainment, you poo poo pants.

Now, I'm trying my best to make this impartial, says Tommy with a straight face. So, I'll leave with this. This is a joke Wil Anderson wrote near the end of his column. I'm not going to say anything, I'm just going to transcribe the joke, and let you make up your own mind. Please remember, your tax dollars pay for the ABC, and Wil works for the ABC, so by extension - you pay for this. Ladies and Gentlemen, Wil Anderson...

'And forget all the kooky scripture games, the real mystery of this movie has got to be what the hell is going on with Tom's hair? 'Hey Mr Hanks, Dicko called and he wants his mullet back!'

Thank you for your time