The God Squad

Now, we all promised not to speak again of The Breakfast Club Incident. Derek Granger is a good friend of this blog, and his off-mic, curse-filled diatribe was merely a blip on the radar of his twenty-year career. We've all moved past it, and now Derek's completed his mandatory community service, so has he.

But some people just can't let it go. Take Pastor Tommy, the host of The God Squad, Baulkham Hills #1 Christian Radio show. Here's a photo of Pastor Tommy, leading at his most recent Youth AWESOME! camp

The only thing cooler than a sideways visor cap is Jesus

Pastor Tommy dedicated his entire show last Tuesday to Granger's accidental blasphemy, firing the first salvo in what will certainly be a long war between the two completely real radio hosts.

Take a listen.

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My Eighteenth Favourite Site

I like pages that do things for you. Like, YouTube automatically sorts all the DaxFlame videos to the top of my screen. My blog shows me the most recent comments on the top right. LathamPorn.com automatically downloads the latest videos for me.

And now, Fundies Say The Darndest Things! does my religion-bashing.

props to some hotty for linking me the site

It's basically a collection of quotes, from sites like ChristianForums.com, and FreeConservatives.com, AnswersInGenesis.org and other conservative Christian sites. And, it's Top 100 Quotes page is a pure, unadulterated comedic goldmine. All I have to do is copy-paste!

Here's one where a God Warrior has written a little skit about a typical atheist household (and spells 'Atheist' wrong). The Atheist Dad comes home, from a long day of... not worshipping a god, and hilarity ensues...

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.

God, it's like the screenplay to Hey Dad!

Here's Crash, from TheologyOnline...

"You got it backwards.

Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.

Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales."

Now, obviously a lot of the quotes on this site are from the special kind of American fundies, who think Jesus is George Bush's National Security Advisor, and that NASCAR is the Lord in action. And that leads to even more gold...

"I appreciate your recommendation, and it is intriguing, but as a pro-lifer, I cannot support an organization that is opposed to the death penalty."

And a tiny bit of racism....

"But God don't talk in Arabic. He talks in a REAL language, namely, English. It's true that back in them days He translated that to some other language after Speaking it in English, but after all, it's His universe and He can do what He doggone well wants to do.

And some more gold. I hope they're not talking about Obama :(

"As a Christian (of sorts and kind of), I know it is harsh, uncivil, boorish and very unchristianlike not to wish someone a speedy recovery. Nevertheless ... he's a Democrat. Democrats are the most horrific enemies this Christian, conservative nation will ever face.

You know...that one might actually be right...

For the sake of religious balance, here's an equally dumb quote from an atheist...

We Should show Christians that their religion shall not be tolerated. They should all be put in extermination camps and they shall die. And then they'll realize they have no soul and the bible is a bunch of crud."

Though, in his defense, he did write it on YouTube. You can say anything there.


Of course, there's also some debating tips, for the people who might try to use a site like this against them...

""Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic.""

Hehe. Man, that one was "funny".

“The gay sensibility,” one speaker informed the audience, is ironic and characterized by the excessively performative use of “air quotes.”

Indeed, irony itself is a gay invention, a coping mechanism for gay people who recognize that they don’t really fit in with normal society."

Well, I "guess" that "makes" me a "flaming queer" then. God, this feels like rain on my wedding day.

And now, the World's Most Inappropriate LOL ...

"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol"

Of course, there's some that I think are made-up. At least, they HAVE to be made-up. Nobody can be this funny. But, regardless, it's my favourite quote on the site....

How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that

1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys

2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them

3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years

4.how come we cant speak monkey

That guy should write me a guest blog.

I would pay him in bananas, lol

Well, at least you're not Tom Cruise..

I know it's pretty stupid to start an argument with an example from a nutbar in America, but here goes...



And that's today's subjects kiddos. Atheists. The other white people.

For the record, I'm not an atheist. I'm agnostic, which is a nice way of saying I have no clue. But I do think having faith that there is no God is only a tiny bit less intellectually retarded than having faith that there is a God.

Sure, atheist's beliefs are backed up by a little more substantial evidence and a little less magic, but they still make the basic assumption that we as humans can know the answers to the universe. Their answers are just different from the folk who think a wizard did it.

In my opinion, how we got here, how matter was formed out of nothing, is a question nobody can profess to answer. I don't think it will ever be answered. Just like I don't think a kitty cat could understand quantum physics, I don't think humans can ever understand the universe.

he tried :(

But, enough of my disclaimer. See that letter at the top? I get that it's one chick. One crazy, most likely fat chick. But she's not the only one.




Seriously, if I was an atheist, I would curse the being I think doesn't exist right about now. They lose out to MORMONS? I mean, sure, having 7 wives means 7 more votes, but even Christians bag out Mormons! Mormons are to Christians like Britney Spears is to Lindsay Lohan. Even she's like 'Girl, you need some help.'

And while we're there - MUSLIMS? And this is in America! They get blown up by Muslims! Repeatedly!

The average American voter would put a burqa over Lady Liberty before they let a guy who thinks that whole 'walking on water' thing sounds a bit suss have control of the nuclear arsenal! At least he can work on fucking Sunday! That's 1/7th more work!

But hey, at least they beat Scientologists. By three percent. You know what three percent is? In the margin of error.

This poll says that Americans would be three percent away from a war with Xenu before they even contemplated letting Joe Atheist sit behind the big desk.

Though, I gotta say, having 'Atheist' as his last name probably wouldn't help the campaign much. I'd change it to something more acceptable, like 'Jesus', or 'Obama'.



But it's not just in polls. In America, eight states have still yet to remove (un-enforcable) clauses in their constitution that prohibit atheists from running for political office. And you don't even wanna know what they do to witches.

It's a lot better in Australia though, where prominent politicians have publicly declared that they're pagan bastards.

Like Mark Latham.

Ok, that was a bad example.

Especially because his eventual successor, Kevin Rudd devoted some of his first media to some boring shit about the origins of liberal Christianity.


Now for the bit where I make my point


I don't like the idea that atheists, people who, on the whole, put their faith in cold hard facts and rely on emperical evidence to make their judgements, are marginalised in society.

I don't like that in the last U.S Congress, there were 0 atheists, yet 1 former KKK member, 1 pedo, at least 3 known alcoholics and a guy who thought Bill Clinton tried to assassinate him are currently making policy that affects the entire world.

Maybe rather than excluding atheists from the democratic process, Christians and Jews and Muslims should do more to include them. Because I'm sure in between the bits about atheists burning in eternal hellfire while 69'ing Saddam Hussein, the good books say to love thy neighbour.

And maybe the religious folk should do more to isolate the nutbars like we saw in the first letter. Maybe then religion would have a better image, nobody would be an atheist, and our streets would finally be crime free.

But, until then, I guess we're stuck with this for a while...

If I wasn't going to hell already, I think this pic just sealed it.

The Grand Canyon Blog

Long-time readers of my blog will remember it was about this time last year that I travelled to America, temporarily handing the reigns of TommyIsCoolDotCom over to Matt. You know, the time I went North, and my hits went South.

But the highlight of my America trip, indeed one of the highlights of my entire life, was a visit to the Grand Canyon. I flew over it in a chopper, walked down the rim (hehe rim), saw the sun set over it, and late one night, I made love to it. It was a Grand Canyon, after all.

hot

Seeing this feat of nature, the beautiful rivers of rock, the cavalcade of colours and shades, the... how you say.... giant fucking hole in the desert, it almost made me tear up. It was the only time in my life I've ever been 'moved' by something like that.

And so, today, I blog about this.

Washington, DC — Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. Despite promising a prompt review of its approval for a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah's flood rather than by geologic forces, more than three years later no review has ever been done and the book remains on sale at the park, according to documents released today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).

We'll skip the 'Bush is evil' undertones there for another blog, but... zuh?

Let me break it down for you. The Grand Canyon falls under the juridstiction of the National Park Service, or NPS. Or NAPS, if you like acronyms that sound like words. They control everything there, including what the tourist shops sell. Which is why in 2003 there was a bit of a kerfuffle when, out of 22 books that submitted that year to be sold at Grand Canyon bookstores, the NPS chose just one. 'Grand Canyon - A Different View', by Tom Vail.

To cut a long story short, Vail is a creationist. He used to be a tour guide at the Canyon, but then his brain fell off the edge and now he thinks the old GC was made by Noah's Flood.

You can see the marks from the flood, just under the bit where the Colorado River and its tributaries cut a channel through the rock over millions of years

I gotta say, I feel sorry for Noah. All he did was build an ark complete with sanitation, food storage and necessary supports to contain two of every single species of animal on the planet, and he gets an earth-destroying flood named after him.

Talk about the short straw.

Straw, of course, being one of the thousands of products he would have had to gather in order to sustain the life of the thousands of animals on his ark, while at the same time ensuring each animal had sufficient room to move and were kept seperate from predators and had sufficient sunlight, air and food and could not punch a hole in the flimsy wood structure he made and launched by himself.

Sorry, got lost a bit there.

Anyway, I think you know where I'm going with this. I don't really have a problem with a bookstore at the Grand Canyon selling a creationist text. After all, every good bookstore should have a Humour section.

But when a certain theological viewpoint is given so much credence that it's the only alternative available in a state-run national park bookstore, when it's put next to books that use the scientific method rather than looking up the index of fucking Genesis, it stops being a freedom of religion issue. It becomes an issue exactly like Intelligent Design, where an un-scientific theory is forced upon the debate and placed on the same level as those with centuries of evidence and consensus.

NO

People opposed to Creationism aren't opposed to religion, and they're definitely not opposed to expressions of religion. They just want you to come up with a better explanation than committing intellectual suicide and saying 'A WIZARD DID ITT!@#' before you sell your fucking books next to the real ones.

If you want to read more about this, because, let's face it, I just mainly just bitched about Christians, - clicky and clicky.

If you don't want to look at more hot Grand Canyon photos, tough shit cause here they come.

HOT

(props to richie for taking the photos)

Voy Voy Voy, I'm Schmiggeggin

AUSTRALIA'S first kosher pedestrian crossings will feature hi-tech detection sensors, allowing Orthodox Jews to cross busy Sydney streets safely during the Sabbath.

Waverley and Woollahra councils are expected to install the devices at two intersections in Old South Head Rd at a cost of $19,800, after the Roads and Traffic Authority rejected a plan to re-program traffic lights.
The RTA has offered to pay one-third of the total cost, however, with the two councils sharing the rest.

Pressing a button on the Sabbath - the period of rest between sunset on Friday and sunset on Saturday - is considered a breach of religious law by Orthodox Jews.

news.com.au

Zuh?

So... everyone's tax dollars (well.. my GST) is going towards funding street lights for some religious nutbars who think God is such an anal bastard that he won't allow them to slightly tap a metal button over in Woolahra and Waverly.

Jesus sends the Jews out of the marketplace,
after hearing they crossed when the red man was flashing

Iis it not enough that I have to look at creepy mannequin Nativity scenes when I'm eating my lunch at the shops? Is it not enough that they blow up nightclubs in Bali? Is it not enough that the Jews run the world and start all the wars? Is it not enough that I have to waste the Foxtel remote battery flicking past the Christian channel every time I want to watch some fucking cartoons?! MUST THEY TAKE EVERYTHING?!!

But man, these crossing light Jews.

It's almost like they don't know the true meaning of Christmas.

God Squad Activate!

Broadcast live from your local school every single weekday, it's....




Starring....

John Howard!

Jesus!

The Great Prophet Muhammad!

And James Hong as Sonny!

You hear about this folks? Youhearaboutthisone?

A $90 million scheme aimed at funding 'grief counselling and spiritual guidance' for school children has been introduced by the Federal Government. The scheme (such a bad word) would provide about $20,000 bucks for each school to spend on a chaplain of their choice, provided they are deemed satisfactory by the Gov.

Rrrright.

Because it totally addresses the problem. I mean, putting aside that whole, overrated 'Seperation of Church and State' and 'No Federal Funding for Religion' thing, there's just not enough access to free religious guidance. There's no such thing as free churches or Mosques or Temples. /hillsong joke./ These poor kids are starving for the Good Word. Have you ever tried to find a copy of the Koran in South-West Sydney? Or a Bible in Baulkham Hills? It's crazy, man.

And it will be totally useful. There's no possible way to spend $90 million better in the Australian Education System. There's no textbook shortages or lack of teachers in country towns. That's all just un-Australian propaganda. Kids don't need books, they need values! The great Aussie values that have made this country great, like democracy, and mateship and freedom of religio-... Oh.

And kids will totally use it. Screw the professionally trained psychological counselling they already have free access to. When their parents divorce and they think it's their fault, or their best friend calls them names behind their back, kids need to be told that 'God works in mysterious ways'. Cut your wrists? That's the infidels fault! Hey Little Jimmy, I hear you're having impure thoughts about your male best mate! Guess what, you're going to Hell! Wheeeeeeeee!!!

Luckily, Jimmy's spiritual counsellor had given him a poster of Jesus.

And don't think I don't know what I'm talking about here. I went to a Christian school, and I know that kids always went to old Reverend Carrick before they went to the much younger, much more accessible school counsellor. I don't know how the Good Rev had time to trim his beard, what with all the kids lined up outside his office for spiritual guidance.

And if I know kids, they'll love to talk about puberty, sex and emotions with the closest thing to the God almighty himself that they know. This is gunna ROCK!

And it will totally work in public schools. Especially in the outer suburbs. You know, those schools with about 8 different religions? I can't wait for Marrickville High to spend their $20k on the world's first MinisterImamRabbiLesbian. I'm sure that will go down a treat.

You know a better way to spend $90 million bucks?

Give the 3.5 million or so Aussie kids of school age twenty-five dollars and seventy-one cents. I'm pretty sure you''ll end a lot more of their worries with a fresh twenty dollar note than you will with a guy telling them they got raped because they looked like 'uncovered meat'.

I got your spiritual guidance right here, Government.

....



(I pointed to my crotch)

Yyyyesss, after the 12 comment success of the Hillsong blog, you'd think I'd stop there. You know, go out while I was ahead. Score one for the good guys and all that. But no. For as you may know, May 29th to June 5th is the international week of Paying Out on Kooky Christians (P.O.K.C), and what better way to increase my blog's readership than by mocking said readership! Onto the games!

Christian fiction is one of the fastest growing literature markets in the world. Book like Serenity Bay, A Season Of Grace and The Landing Place sell like hotcakes in a marketplace before Jesus upturns the tables. Another piece of Christian fiction, The Bible, also sells quite well.

See, that was a cheap joke, and I promise not to make any more of them because the aim of this blog isn't to bag out all Christians, just the Kooky ones. It's putting the K in P.O.K.C, and they don't get much Kookier than the authors and readers of LEFT BEHIND.



Left Behind tells the story of The Rapture, the biblical event that gets American evangelicals all hot under their collars because it gets rid of the Jews. The series of books explore what happens when Jesus' chosen ones disappear, 'leaving behind' millions (NOW YOU GET WHY THE BOOK IS CALLED THAT) and allowing for the rise of the Anti-Christ in the form of a guy named Nicolae. It also has a character named Buck, which is awesome on so many levels, especially if your name is Buck, or something that rhymes with Buck. For example, my great-uncle - Fuck.

Opening with a brutal war between Israel and Russia/Iraq/Syria (The Stereotypically Evil Axis of Evil), Left Behind is essentially a Tom Clancy novel, but with more quotes from Revelations and a little less anti-semitism. Old Tom hates dem Jews.

Now I know what you're thinking. War, explosions, Jesus. It's made for the American south. But Tommy, you say, furrowing your brow and taking a swig of your bottle of JD, rednecks can't read?

Enter Kirk Cameron.

So Stewie, what are you doing tonight?

Oh nothing, just watching Kirk Cameron play Jean-Valjean!

Kirk Cameron, star of hit 80's sitcom Growing Pains, plays the lead role in the Left Behind movies, alongside Lou Gosset Jr. as the black President. I'm sure that casting choice really went down well at Bumfuck Baptist Church in Alabama. I watched the trailer for the third Left Behind movie 'Left Behind: World At War' (the title 'Left Behind: Let's Steal More Christian Money' was already taken)

(by Hillsong lol)

and it looked pretty sweet. Like all cliched trailers, it did that thing where the trailer ends, and it shows the title of the movie, and then it cuts back to a final snappy scene. This one involved Kirk Cameron grabbing a bible in an interrogation room. It was like Guantanemo Bay except he didn't have electrodes attached to his urethra.

But movies and books are boring and old-fashioned, and not the reason for this post. Video games are where it's at these days. Violent, explicit video games, like Quake, Grand Theft Auto and Super Mario Sunshine. And hey, computers play games, and Christians have computers. If they didn't, I'd only get like 10 hits a day and most of them would be from people searching for Krystal from Big Brother's boobs. Oh, and Mitch. I love you, Mitch.


SO WHY DON'T WE MAKE A LEFT BEHIND VIDEO GAME!!!


YEAAHHHH

Wage a war of apocalyptic proportions in LEFT BEHIND: Eternal Forces - a real-time strategy game based upon the best-selling LEFT BEHIND book series created by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. Join the ultimate fight of Good against Evil, commanding Tribulation Forces or the Global Community Peacekeepers, and uncover the truth about the worldwide disappearances!

Rock on! Tribulation Forces! Ultimate Fight! Good vs Evil! Peacekeeping!

Ok, so leave out Peacekeeping and this game sounds pretty damn sweet. And hey, it's morally acceptable too. Just look at the video game company's mission statement

The mission of Left Behind Games is to become the world’s leading independent developer and publisher of quality interactive entertainment products that perpetuate positive values and appeal to mainstream and Christian audiences.

Awesome. Positive values. And how does one represent such positive values, and appeal to both mainstream and Christian audiences?

Yeah, you guessed it.


A fuckload of violence.


I'm talking spreading the word of the good Lord by controlling more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks.

Battle tanks!!

Perpetuate positive values by playing multiplayer games as Tribulation Force or the AntiChrist's Global Community Peacekeepers with up to eight players via LAN or over the internet!

Battle tanks!!

Appeal to mainstream audiences by recovering ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices.

Battle tanks!!

No game review is complete without screenshots, and having been tought at uni by the former editor of the Hyper video game magazine, I know a thing or too about writing funny captions under screenshots. Just take a look at some of these gems.

The only remaining Olympic rings take a violent turn

See, because there's a red and a blue ring? Brilliance!

Snoop Dogg's World Tour Visits New York

Because there's a lot of smoke, and Snoop Dogg smokes pot! The smoke from the buildings is actually from the war, but I said in the caption it was due to Snoop Dogg! Hilarity!

After the death of the red Olympic ring, the blue one takes a violent turn

Get it, it's a callback! Effulgent!

Left Behind: Eternal Forces will be available for purchase sometime this year. Let's just hope the Rapture comes early, so nobody has to play it.

Battle tanks!!

Creationists commandeer Cyclops


No, it's not a title of an X-Men comic, it was a headline in The Age. Okay, the Age's website, but I sound smarter when I say I read it in The Age. Except when I add a disclaimer saying I read it on their website. Shit.

A one-eyed, noseless kitten will be the centrepiece of a new museum intended to promote the theory of creationism.

John Adolfi plans to feature Cy's remains at The Lost World Museum when it opens later this year. The Phoenix, New York, museum will feature such oddities as giant plants and eggs, deformed animal remains and unique archaeological finds, he said.

Adolfi believes in creationism - a literal reading of the Bible's story of creation.

He wrote on the museum's web site that the theory of evolution states that "environmental pressures can lift species from the ape-like creature ... to us today. My question is this. Are there really positive mutations?

"All I can see are neutral or negative," said Adolfi, a real estate agent from Granby, New York.

Mmm. If anything proves that God created the beautiful universe with his divine knowledge and powers, it's this.

Killll meeeee

Where can I sign up. Truly this is the Lord's most beautiful creation. I know, I know, different strokes for different folks. It's all cool baby, believe what you want. But come on. First off, your last name sounds like an affectionate nickname for Hitler. Second, a creationist MUSEUM? That's like having a Lord Of The Rings laboratory.

And I dig the evidence. Evolution doesn't exist because a real estate agent from upstate New York thinks mutations are either 'neutral or negative'. Because real estate agents have been responsible for all the scientific breakthroughs in history. LJ Hooker discovered penicillin. And who needs Darwin or Dawkins when you've got Adolfi and his short-sighted pussy. If all mutations were negative, apes wouldn't have turned into humans and made the Sistine Chapel. If all mutations were negative, apes would be be a moaning, writhing mass of fur, substisting only on goo they lick with their fourth tounge, conveniently attached to their second vagina.

And they definitely wouldn't have evolved into me.

I rest my case.

Intelligant Design
A bitch by Prof. Tommy M.D

Right now in the States there's a big shitstorm over whether 'Intelligent Design' (the theory that nature and life is too complex to have evolved gradually and that there must have been an intelligent designer/God pulling the strings) should be taught in schools. The Kansas Board of Education recently rewrote the definition of science to no longer limit it to 'the search for natural explanations of phenomena', thereby opening the door for 300 or so Kansas school boards to authorise the teaching of Intelligent Design alongside Evolution in their science classes.

Because gosh darn it, if anybody knows the real definition of science, it's the Kansas Board of Education.

But hey, America always gets up to stuff like this, right? After all, this was the country that had a Supreme Court case arguing whether a statue of the Ten Commandments should be placed outside a court! Stuff like this could never happen in a country like Australia, where we respect the seperation of church and state, right?

At Pacific Hills Christian School in Dural intelligent design is taught in science classes. The school's principal, Ted Boyce, said he was not persuaded by the Australian scientists' and teachers' stance and it was appropriate to teach it as an alternative explanation for the origin of humanity.
from smh.com.au

Oh.

How come everything dumb always happens near my house?

We did not evolve from monkeys

Straight off the bat I'll add a qualifier so the 80% Christian readership of my blog doesn't put a Jesus curse on me - I have no problem with Intelligent Design or Creationism being taught in religion classes. If a parent sends their kid to a Christian school, it should be expected they learn about Adam and Eve and the rib and the talking snake and the divine birth of Ric Flair. Same as if a parent sends their kid to a Muslim school, they should learn about... whatever Muslims believe happened. And Jews should be taught their creation story, which I believe involve lots of gold. BUT, these stories are not science.

Intelligent Design advocates talk about a concept called 'Irreducible Complexity', saying that some structures are too complex to have evolved, like the flagellum of bacteria. They say that these structures have too many intertwined parts to have evolved piece by piece, and therefore an intelligent designer must have played a part. Of course, this theory has more holes in it than Paris Hilton, but it is an alternative to Evolution. It's just untestable, unobservable and unreplicable. You know, like a good scientific theory.

The 'Intelligent' Design Fossil Record

Evolution is the framework around which natural history is understood, you can't pick and choose which science you'll teach or believe. And you really can't be teaching impressionable children a completely unscientific theory in science class. And if you are, why just limit it to Intelligent Design?

Why not the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory of creation in science class?

Why not teach kids that we're all part of the Matrix and our body heat is being used to power machines that for some reason let us live and oh shit brain hurting matrix too complicated and crap?

How come nobody teaches my theory, that life is like a box of chocolates?

It's because teaching theories like Intelligent Design in science class is like teaching professional wrestling in P.E class. It just doesn't make sense.

Though that would be pretty wicked. I bet I could write 3000 words on why the WWF should never have given the World Title to the Big Show in 1999. That would be hot.

I've been talking up how one day I'm going to make a post on Gay Marriage to generate controversy and get lots of comments, but after the 116 comment bonanza that came about after REDACTED's anti-terror legislation, it's almost redundant. I don't think I could say anything controversial enough to generate 116 comments, and if I tried I'd just end up saying something stupid like George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People.

But what the hell, let's talk about homo marriage


HOMO MARRIAGEAn in-depth report by Tommy (hehe in-depth)


As I've said before on this blog, I'm a different strokes (hehe strokes) for different folks kinda guy. I don't care who you worship (unless you're a Mormon), who you vote for (unless it's Liberal) or who you want to shag (unless they're ugly). I also believe that people should be allowed to live their lives as they see fit, unless their decisions impact negatively on another person. Which is why I fire up when I hear Mosman Councillor's say brown people aren't welcome, or hear Muslim Clerics defend gang rapes, or see films or games or TV shows get unecessarily censored because they offend some people.

So in 2004, when the Howard Government introduced and passed completely unecessary legislation (they were outlawing something that wasn't legal in the first place) to ban gay marriage in Australia, and were supported by a Labor Opposition who didn't want to get on the wrong side of religious conservatives in an election year, I fired up. And though the legislation doesn't affect me (Freddy Fittler said 'no' when I proposed), I'm still fired up.


Why Freddy :(

Every citizen of this country, no matter who they prefer boning, should be allowed to get married. Every couple should possess the right to have or adopt children. Every couple in the country should be afforded the same rights in regards to superannuation, inheritance, visitation and medical decisions. State-by-state laws are insufficient in giving homosexual couples the same right as heterosexual couples. Discrimination based on sexuality is no different to discrimination based on race or religion, it is immoral and unjust in a modern democracy.

There is a religious argument against gay marriage, and I fully support the rights of churches and parishioners not to condone such unions. However, in the year 2005, marriage is not the sole possession of the Church. Marriage is a Government-recognised, legal agreement -it can be performed outside of Churches by civil celebrants. Churches should be free to express their beliefs in regards to same-sex marriage, but their opposition should not be a consideration in legislation. It's that pesky little 'seperation of Church and State' thingy that always pops up in democracies.

The argument that marriage is the bedrock of 'family values' and any moves to allow homos to tie the knot would 'undermine our social fabric' or would 'pose a threat to society' conveniently ignores the fact that 40% of marriages in this country end in divorce. Call me crazy, but I think if marriage was such an important part of the social fabric of our country, the skyrocketing divorce rate would have done us in ages ago. I fail to see how letting two people who love each other join the ranks is going to have a negative effect on society. How come the thousands of de-facto homosexual couples don't pose a similar threat to society? Do they only generate social upheaval when they share the same last name?


Sesame Street turned deadly when Bert and Ernie finally tied the knot

The above argument also just happens to be the same one used to prevent interracial marriages a century or two ago. A variation on that argument was also used to justify the White Australia policy. In fact, pretty much every advance in civil rights has been opposed by claiming a 'threat' to moral fibre or social values or the moral fabric or bedrock or tradition. Some things are just not worth defending.

I'll probably cop a bit of shit for saying same-sex couples should be allowed to adopt children. It is the worst example of discrimination in the whole bunch. The typical argument is that the most desirable outcome for a child is to have strong female and male role models. It was the same argument used to villify single mothers a few decades ago. And I agree, in a perfect world, every child would have a Mummy and a Daddy wholovedthemverrrryyymuch. And Daddy wouldn't drink. And Mummy wouldn't fuck Daddy's best friend. And they wouldn't get a divorce when the child was 12. And Mummy's new boyfriend wouldn't hit the child when he had a lousy day at work. But in case you haven't noticed yet, the world isn't perfect.

And studies conducted over the last two decades show little difference in the emotional or mental health of children raised by homosexual couples compared to their heterosexual counterparts. A child raised by pillow-biters doesn't necessarily become a pillow-biter. And while some of these studies are criticised for using flawed methodology, there are few studies which show a decidedly negative outcome for children raised by homosexuals.

Call me crazy, but I don't think the sexuality of a child's parents has anything to do with how well they raise their kid. And there are plenty of other scenarios worse than a kid having two mums or two dads, yet I don't see them being outlawed. If a homosexual couple do not have the same rights as a heterosexual couple in regards to adopting and raising children, then neither should single parents.


So yes, that's about it.


Here is a picture of some lesbians.

Those wacky councillors over at Mosman are up to their usual tricks. First they try and beat the shit out of each other and now one of them has said that Muslims would not be welcomed in the suburb. Apparently councillor Dominic Lopez was concerned that "men in flowing gowns and flowing beards" were inspecting the up-for-sale Christian Science property on Military Road.

Now I don't want to jump to conclusions and call Cr. Lopez a bigoted bastard, because 'men in flowing gowns and flowing beards' could well mean something else. I know I'd be pretty pissed if some Jedis moved in up the street from me.


Mmm this watermelon is delicious

You may have heard of a similar incident in Annangrove a few years ago, when those dastardly Muslims tried to practice their faith and build a prayer hall, and 1000 ignorant bigo- citizens sent in letters to their gutless Councillors to get the application defeated. In their defense, they claimed the prayer hall wasn't in 'the public interest' rather than just come straight out and say 'We don't like dem A-rabs'. The defeat was later overturned by the courts, and the hall was built. And then vandalised with pigs blood, just to ram home the point that Annangrove residents don't like brown people.

But back to Cr. Lopez:

Cr Lopez went on to say that wherever mosques were built, nearby properties took longer to sell.

He said: "I had an uncle in Lakemba. They put a mosque at the end of his street, and it changed. When he died it took them a couple of years to sell the house."

Gee, you think maybe the house took a few years to sell because it was in LAKEMBA? No, no it was definitely the mosque. Because there's absolutely no Muslims in Lakemba. And none of them would want to live near the place they have to go to a few times a week. Of course. The logic is brilliant.

And you know what? Lopez will get voted back in with even more votes because he just went and insulted a minority group. I hate people that insult minorities.

The bloody spick.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

RADICAL CLERIC ISSUES FATWA CALLING FOR ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson (search) has suggested that American agents assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez (search) to stop his country from becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism."

An official of a theological watchdog group on Tuesday criticized Robertson's statement as "chilling."

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said Monday on the Christian Broadcast Network's "The 700 Club."

"We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

Fox News

Hehe you thought it was gunna be a Muslim hehe

Anyway, we all know the radical Muslims work for the Liberal Party:

ONE of the Islamic leaders meeting John Howard today suspects September 11 was a conspiracy and asks "why did 4000 Jews not show up for work" on the day of the attacks?

Abdul (Ray) Rahman Deen also says there were no black box flight recorders found in the wreckage of the World Trade Centre after hijacked planes were flown into the twin towers, killing thousands.

Mr Deen, who is a development officer for the Liberal Party, says it was therefore wrong to blame any group for September 11 "without full facts and evidence".

news.com.au

I guess that article explains why this guy just got pre-selected by the Libs for the Maroubra by-election.


WE WILL KEEP INTEREST RATES LOW


Crazy people make me smile