tommyiscooldotcom

Unlike some people who comment on my blog that think miners are the scum of the earth, I have a different view. The scum of the earth are not the men who risk their lives in dank shafts (hehe shaft) so we can wear pretty jewellery and have...metal...things, they are a different breed of person entirely.

The scum of the earth are pub trivia and karaoke hosts.

If you're looking to break into the world of entertainment and don't look like Angelina Jolie or Dennis Hopper, you have to start at the bottom. You become an extra in some independent films and build a CV.

However, if you're completely unentertaining, uncharismatic and unfunny and looking to break into the seventh layer of a miserable hell, you become a pub trivia/karaoke host.

I went to trivia at a pub in Windsor last night, and while my team came 3rd behind people who wouldn't be out of place at Texas Chainsaw Massacre family reunion, it was fun.

THE ANSWER WAS 'HONDA'!@#

No thanks of course to the dicky trivia guy, who made hilarious jokes about Brokeback Mountain (5 times), George Bush being a wanker (2 Times) and even Harry Potter. I believe the Harry Potter went something like this, my delivery might be off because unlike him, I was not beaten as a child.

Here goes...

Achem.

I hear Harry Potter was in the Mardi Gras... Yeah, he called himself Harry Poofter!


LOL!@#e


I know what you're thinking to yourself. Why was Wil Anderson's less funny boyfriend hosting trivia in Windsor? But wait, it gets better. Because after a question about who won 7 ARIA Awards in 2003, he made a joke about how Delta Goodrem had cancer!!

LOL2000!@$%

He even bitched about how she got the guy from Savage Garden to sing her song, because she was weak from the drugs they gave her to fight the cancer!

It's funny cause she was severely ill

Anyway, that's all I wanted to whinge about. Now onto business. Because I'm desperately running out of material... It's the Second Annual TommyIsCoolDotCom GUEST BLOG DRIVE!

Yyyyes, if you have something you want to get off your chest, a scathing critique of my blog or just some funny pictures of squirrels, e-mail me a guest blog, and I'll post that bitch like mail on a Tuesday. Doesn't matter how long or short it is, whether it's about Cats or even Bunnies, I will post it unless I disagree with it or don't like you

So send them in, and 50 people might skim over your hard work to get to the post about Big Brother! I want your business TODAY