Matt and Tommy's Bi-Annual Samuel Gordon Stewart Bashing - Part One - 'Call Me, Ishmael'

I really don't know where we'd be without Samuel Gordon Stewart. At first, we were weirded out by him. We all got a little angry, and in the heat of the moment, we said some pretty harsh things about him. But then, we grew to like the kid. We weren't weirded out anymore, so much as we were... mesmerised.

But we're not the only ones who have regretted saying some pretty nasty things. Samuel did it himself. Let's look at this blog, titled 'Bloody Ishmael', or as we like to call it - 'The Fall of Samuel'.

Yes, what was once a truly innocent, beautiful creature has turned into a flaming ball of hate. I give you Samuel Gordon Stewart HULK ANGRY



:O

After a freak gamma ray accident, Samuel was blessed with
superhuman strength and the vocabulary of a 70 year old woman

You know he was punching those keys hard when he typed that. For most people, 'fucking cunt' is probably the harshest insult they can imagine. Maybe 'thundercunt', if they're really angry. But SGS transcends such purile insults. Why don't you stuff your head up a turkey, goose?

But, Samuel later regrets using such volatile language, chats with Ishmael, and they sort it out. It's poetic, almost. He then posts a public apology.

Whilst Ishmael understands that I won’t be taking down any of what I wrote, I would like to publicly apologise to Ishmael for being a bit too harsh in my comments. End Update

End quote. Does he really need to chuck that bit in? The giant white space after text isn't clue enough that he's done? Is he such an old man-boy that he is used to writing in telegram?

Now, that's the end of Part One. I understand it wasn't very satisfying, was a bit short and left an awful taste in your mouth. That's because Tommy wrote it. Up next on the blog, we get to the good stuff. Because next time, we're posting Part Two - The Creepy Stuff We Found On Samuel's Site.

Till next time..

End blog.


Resume masturbating