You know, the ugly one?

You know The Chaser right? The newspaper, the War on Everything, the signed photo I have in a laminated seal next to my bed? Even if you don't know them, you probably know their faces.


Look, there's Firth, and Julian, and Andrew, and Craig, and Chas and Chris. And of course, Dominic Knight. But... where's Dominic? There's a 7th Chaser? A MISSING Chaser? But, why? He's the editor of their old newspaper, one of the head writers for their TV, he hosts their radio show on Triple M, how come he hardly ever gets included in anything on TV, least of all the promo shots?



Oh.

You know the expression 'He's got a face for radio?' Dom Knight has a face for radio, if radio is living in a church belltower and eating fish heads. Seriously, if that guy ever falls in love, it's probably going to end with him being chased inside a holy temple and yelling SANCTUAARRRYYYY!!!

So, Dom's face got me thinking. So many other groups try to hide their ugly members.

The world's best band ever, Bon Jovi, had sex symbols like Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora (who banged Denise Richards AND Heather Locklear) and the greasy Mexican drummer, but they also had David Bryan, who looks like the pudgy one from Lord Of The Rings if his face melted.

So, they hid him behind a keyboard.

NO DAVID, YOU ARE TOO UGLY TO DO A SOLO IN LIVING ON A PRAYER
grrabbbhlllerrrrrfggfhgfg

The world's second best band ever, The Beatles, had Ringo...



and Yoko...


Remember N*Sync?

Justin Timberlake and.... the other guys? Sure, nobody remembers the names of... Lance, J.C, Joey and Your search 'N*Sync erobic fiction' did not match any documents. Did you mean 'N*Sync erotic fiction'?, we do remember they all weren't as cosmetically blessed as JT. Not that I think he's attractive. This paragraph is getting mighty gay, I might pull out.


That's what she said.

There we go.

But as I said, N*Sync did a pretty bad job hiding their ugly guy. Especially when it came to naming him. Ladies and Gentlemen, N*Sync member Joey Fatone.

But it ain't no lie baby fries fries frieeesss

Yes, they named the fat one 'Fatone'.

Hell, even KISS had an ugly guy, and they wore facepaint!

I'm going to be a Demon! I'm going to paint a star on my face!

I'm going to paint myself like a CAT!

...... God damn it Pete

The fact is, to be successful, you need an ugly guy to make you look better. It's why the Liberals have Costello, why the Scooby Gang have Shaggy, and why I get Matt to write guest blogs.


Bam