The Best TV Shows You're Not Watching

When you combine Foxtel Digital and the internet, you end up having a lot of choice for your television viewing habits. You could watch Law and Order on TV1, or illegal, extremely hardcore pornography filmed in a former Soviet republic. That's two choices right there!

But I know some of you aren't as.... televisionally endowed as me. Some of you might not even have Pay TV. Some of you mightn't even plan your days around when Lost is out for download. It's sad, really. Just sad.

So, here's my guide to the Best TV Shows That You Ar- ah fuck it just read the blog title.

I chose 7, because it's the number everyone chooses when people say 'pick a number between 1 and 10'. They are ranked in order of quality and/or not-watching-ness.


#7 - The Unit

I mentioned this in my last blog about TV, but it's still a kickass show. It's kind of like House in that it's pretty formulaic, but always with a twist. And nothing ever happens that matters the next episode. It not only stars President Palmer from 24, but the T-1000 and the guy from Felicity. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that in the last blog. How about you just read that, and we'll skip to #6?



#6 - The Unit

Fuck.









#6 - Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip

Again, another relic from the last TV blog. Studio 60 is set behind-the-scenes at a television sketch comedy show. If you like The West Wing, you will love this. If you don't love The West Wing, go back to school. Seriously. You obviously missed a day or something. I'd rate this show higher because of the quality of the writing and the perfomances, but it does treat a 90-minute comedy show as the most important thing ever. It's also a little preachy.

If I wanted preachy, over-intelligent people lecturing me about culture, I'd watch the ABC. Bam. Take that, Spicks and Specks.


#5 - TNA iMPACT!

So like, Sting won the NWA World Title right. But he fought Abyss in a match and he put Abyss off the stage through a table covered in thumbtacks, but before he did, he pushed the ref so he lost the title by disqualification. Wrestling rocks. If you liked The West Wing, you'll like this. Not because it's well-written, witty or even has any semblance of a coherant plot. It's just 'West Wing' rhymes with 'Wrestling'.



#4 - Extras

Ricky Gervais' follow-up to The Office follows him as a struggling actor trying to make it big. Worth watching just for the celebrity cameos, like Robert DeNiro, Ian McKellen and Harry Potter. Until you have seen Patrick Stewart pitch his film to Ricky, which just involves ladies ripping their clothes off in front of him, you have not lived.




#3 - The Office (US)

Speaking of The Office, here's.... The.. Office. The US remake rocks. The first season was average, but the last two have been sensational. One of those shows where so much good stuff happens that you could find 10 people, make them watch an episode, and they'd each have a different favourite moment.

Also, the Jim and Pam love angle shits over Ross and Rachel in every way. Mainly because Jim isn't a neurotic, annoying Jew.



#2 - Dexter
Dexter was almost #1, but it lacks a likeable Japanese guy who can teleport. Instead, we get Dexter Morgan, a forensic blood analyst for the Miami police by day, and a serial killer by night. But he only kills bad guys. Like, really bad guys. And he only does it because as a child he witnessed unimaginable slaughter, developed a lust for blood and was trained by his dead-cop adopted father to limit his murderous desires to those who actually deserved it.


It's a comedy.

And yes, he has a Laboratory.


#1 - Heroes

Oh, Heroes. Where do I start. Indestructible cheerleader. Future-seeing painter slash heroin junkie whose addiction feeds his powers. Slutty, split-personality webcam stripper who slaughters people who get in her way, then doesn't remember it. Teleporting Japanese office worker who is the funnest character on TV ever. Bad guy who slices peoples heads off and eats their brains. If I was a TV, let's just say my aerial would be pointing to the sky right now.

By that, I mean I'd have an erection.

Now you're not going to watch Heroes, are you?




Damn.