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It's just coming up on Spring here, which means over in America it's coming up on the Fall, because they like to name seasons after intransitive verbs. And that means it's time for the To Drop or Come Down Freely Under The Influence Of Gravity TV Season!

And TV ROCKS!

The Fall sees the premiere of all the new shows, and the return of all the old shows. It's like one giant party, and all your favourite characters are there. Locke from Lost and Dr. House are having the coolest conversation ever, all the people from Law and Order are having a game of snooker, and Jack Bauer is beating the shit out of that Horatio cock from C.S.I: Miami. But, this party is a little crowded. For every Lost, there's an N.C.I.S. For every 24, a How I Met Your Mother.

So, let Tommy cut through the crap and take you on a journey through the very best shows you will be downloading in the next few months...


Returning Shows


The Unit

Starring Dennis Haysbert (Palmer from 24), The Unit hasn't yet aired in Australia, but should be on Channel Seven very soonish. It's about a group of special forces soldiers, their wives at home and the foreign-looking people they kill. The action scenes are awesome, and even the plots involving their ladies back home are pretty sweet. Mainly because the T-1000 from Terminator 2 is banging one of the soldier's wives. Have you seen this show?


Psyched Factor: 8/10


Lost

Season 2 of Lost didn't end on a cliffhanger so much as a blank, confused stare. Though it was way more satisfying than the 'People looking down a hatch' end of Season 1, it left you with more questions than a Trivial Pursuit air-drop. Are Michael and Walt ever coming back? Did Eko, Desmond and Locke survive the Hatch Explosion? The answers to those questions, and plenty more, will be revealed now. Only Walt, and yes, they're alive. LOL SPOILED

But srsly, this season of Lost features new castmembers, more romance and a whole lot less Ana-Lucia, so it's gotta be good. I'm very aroused.

Psyched Factor: 9/10


Prison Break

Prison Break ended huge last season, with the escapees being pursued by cops, dogs, cars and helicopters. Apparently, this season starts a few hours after the end of the finale, so you'd figure they got away. The bitch Vice-President got promoted, there's a new character trying to find Schofield and the escapees, and Haywire stole a kid's bike. Because they're... not actually in prison anymore, the show has been renamed Prison Break: Manhunt. Makes more sense than Season 2's original title - Prison Break: We Didn't Think This Show Would Last More Than A Season.


Psyched Factor: 7/10


South Park

Just for the reason that while South Park has been on hiatus, Tom Cruise had a baby, Mel Gibson blamed the Jews for wars and the JonBenet Ramsay case got a new twist (turns out it wasn't a Puerto Rican), this season has more material than a Spotlight store. So hot.




Psyched Factor: 7/10


New Shows


Heroes

A total eclipse shrouds the earth, and gives a bunch of people super-powers. A hot chick becomes invulnerable, an artist finds out he can see the future, a beat cop develops telepathy, and a Japanese guy can stop time, yet still can't drive very well. It has a hint of Lost about it, with a big, varied cast and lots of supernatural stuff. As long as nobody jumps into a cape straight away, it should be a good show, especially when all the new heroes get together and form a hero alliance and battle dinosaurs.

Has an all-star cast, including household names like Sendhil Ramamurthy, Noah Gray-Cabey and Hayden Panettiere. I guess the casting director didn't get super powers. BAM!

Psyched Factor: 7/10


The Vanished

A creepy thriller from the creator of CSI about Sara Collins, the wife of an American Senator who vanishes while at a public function. Who took her? Why did they take her, a woman with seemingly no enemies? Was it the Terminator, sent back in time to apprehend Sara Conner, but he wrote the name on his hand in ink and it smudged so he took Sara Collins instead? Why have I made two Terminator references in one blog?

Apparently, there are hints of a Freemason conspiracy, and based on the accompanying picture - explosions.

Psyched Factor: 6/10


Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip

From Aaron Sorkin, the guy who made The West Wing. Has Chandler from Friends. Is about a sketch comedy show. If you didn't immediately want to watch this show after I said 'From the guy who made The West Wing', die in a fire.





Psyched Factor: 8/10


Jericho

Out of the entire bunch, Jericho should be of most interest to us Aussies because Channel Ten is going to air it on the same day as CBS in America. Meaning you don't have to put up with a six-month wait and hearing your annoying mate go on and on about how awesome this new Jericho show he downloaded was. Hell, you could kill him right now and nobody would know.

Jericho tells the story of a small, peaceful Kansas town, plunged into chaos following a nuclear explosion in the distance. With the power and communication lines down, the town's residents are forced to wonder if they're the only Americans alive, and if so, who will bomb the Middle East now? Stars Skeet Ulrich, the PG-13-Rated boyfriend from Scream who turned out to be a psycho.

Not the one who said 'Liver Alone!', the other one.

The hot one.

Psyched Factor: 7/10



That's just a hand-picked sample of the most interesting shows. There's also a TV version of Friday Night Lights, a new season of the greatest reality show ever Hogan Knows Best, and of course - WWE Smackdown.


Enjoy your Fall, I hope you don't get HURT


RO-FALL-MAO!@#