Isabel Lucas Tamsyn Lewis Lesbian Dumps Wil Anderson Beazley Bauer: Search Hits Through The Ages

As I post more blogs, and as more people link to them, more people find my site from Googling. And the best thing about that is, I get to see what they're looking for when they stumble upon my little world. I've done a blog like this before when I first got going, but things have picked up recently, so it's time for some idea recycling. It helps stop global warming of the blogosphere, you know.

Most of the searches are pretty innocent. I get a few for topical things. I wrote about The Glasshouse, and now I get hits for 'Corrine Grant bias' and 'Wil Anderson'. I'm very proud to say that at the moment, the 30th result at Google for "Wil Anderson" is me calling him a cock.

If I write about something obscure, something there's not much about on the internet, I get search hits too. Like for 'Happy Healthy Harold'. Sadly, I get zero hits from people searching for 'Handsome bloggers'. Got two hits for people searching for transvestite bloggers, but that's a different story.

My main rival for the #1 spot. I hate you, Tommyina.

But above all, my favourite hits are the ones from weird or dirty searches. Matt wrote a guest blog where he mentioned Isabel Lucas from Home and Away. Now, I get people finding my blog searching for 'Isabel Lucas naked pics', 'Isabel Lucas black hair', and 'Isabel Lucas europe'. Tamsyn Lewis also got mentioned when I bitched about Jana Pittman, so I get hits for 'Tamsyn Lewis sexy pics' and 'Tamsyn Lewis slut'. Welcome, horny athletics fans.

Search for 'Matt Shirvington the package', and I'm result #9. Coincidentally, 9 is also the size of his package lol penis joke.

I'll have to give REDACTED credit for my numerous Maxi-Pad hits, especially my favourite - 'Maxi Pad Gifts'. Happy Anniversary honey, here's some tampons.

Making a joke about Casey Donovan taking a dump a few months ago showed poor judgement on my part. I only realised this when I got a hit from someone search for 'fat girls taking big dumps'. I hope you found what you were looking for, Mr. Howard.

It's not all dodgy though, sometimes it's just mind-blowingly obscure. My favourite of those is a Google for 'Jack Bauer Schapelle Corby'. Why? Just.. why put those two together? Is he going to rescue her from prison?

only jack bauer could carry 4kg of marijuana in his man-bag

But above all, the reason for today's blog was to share with you my finest search hit. At Ask.com, I am hit #4 for 'Kim Beazley can't even see himself pee'.


Today is the proudest day of my life.



BREAKING NEWS ALERT (10:20pm, 7/11/06):

Ignore everything I said about that shit Beazley search. After I posted this blog, sometime this afternoon, someone using a Mac in the United States found my blog by Googling 'Can cum stain skin'.

It gets better...


I was the #1 Result.