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I don't often like sharing this information, but I have a few contacts in the upper echelons of al-Qaeda. I know that's frowned upon these days, but most of them are pretty good blokes. Sure, Bin Laden is a little fruity, and Sami Mohammed Ali Said al-Jaaf murders the ocassional person if they call him 'jaffa', but they're fun to party with. And aside from tip-offs about strikes in major capital cities (I'd stay away from Adelaide for a few weeks btw), I also get unprecedented access to their media interviews. Normally they record them in their cave/Channel Nine studios in Willoughby, then send them via camel to Al-Jazeera, the Arab News Network. But sometimes they send them to me first.


What happened to the other half of his vest

So here it is folks, hot off the presses, an exclusive speech from al-Qaeda second-in-command, Ayman Al-Zawahri! I speak a little bit of Arab, so I was able to do a rough translation over the top of his speech. Hope you find it as interesting as ASIO eventually will when they arrest me and repossess my computer.

Download the mp3 here, or the zip here if that doesn't work.