The Fall Of Howard - MySpace Warz

It was inevitable really. Once Kevin Rudd's campaign ad was posted on YouTube, the obvious next step was MySpace. Next - campaign photos on Flickr. After that, policy launches on FaceBook. And then, we come full circle. John Howard naked, on XTube.

And, just like the opinion polls, MySpace has spoken. Kevin Rudd has more friends than John Howard.

....But a quick glance at Mr Rudd's page shortly after 4pm (AEST) today showed he already had more than 570 “friends”, or people who have added him to their list of favoured users, compared to just seven for the Howard government.

Ouch. A few days later, Rudd is up to 5522 friends, and Howard has shot through with...... 8.

Peter Costello was distraught not to be included in John's Top 8

Though, I think that's because K-Rudd is actually letting people be his friends. I'm sure the Howard Government has had lots of people try to add them as friends. It's just they want to determine who comes to their MySpace and the circumstances under which they do. I believe an e-boat full of Afghani MySpacers looking to add Howard as a friend was just stopped by the Royal Australian Navy a few hours ago.

Little Known Fact: People smuggler boats have free wireless broadband

I guess because people are a little chuffed that one of Kevin Rudd's lowly staffers decided to accept their friend invite, K-Rudd Vampire Butters profile is full of glowing compliments towards the Opposition leader. I was expecting lots of Young Liberal stooge spam, but it's mainly people under voting age telling Rudd how good he is.

Though, I thought these messages were a little odd.

I don't want to sound overly partisan, but...

PETER COSTELLO IS A PUSSY

Prime ministerial heir designate Peter Costello has admitted he cries. Not over leadership squabbles, but over the Australian Idol show on television.

When asked if he ever cried, the treasurer divulged that his family loved to watch Australian Idol and the show sometimes moved him to tears.

"Yeah I do actually," Mr Costello said about his tendency to blub.

"I get moved by movies from time to time.

"I get moved by talent shows, you know, things like Australian Idol.

"(I cry) sometimes when the singers get put down and cry.

"My family watches it all the time.

"They watched it all the way through the series and I thought it was a good series."

from Da Herald

Hey, I tear up a little at the end of Band Of Brothers, and I used to get moved to tears by episodes of Supermarket Sweep, but Australian Idol?

The bloke is meant to be the economic genius of our country, and he landed on the waterworks and paid four times his roll when Dicko called Paulini fat?

I'm afraid I have no other recourse other than this.

The Breakfast Club Incident

Morning, all. I'm here to deliver some undesirable news, and that is that there is trouble afoot in the world of Baulkham Hills breakfast radio.

Regular viewers of Tommy's blog will remember that we have previously mentioned radio superstar Derek Granger:



Seeing as Tommy is such a big fan of Mr Granger Esq. and his profound body of work, we at TommyIsCoolDotCom can bring you exclusive audio of Granger's latest on-air debacle. Enjoy.

powered by matt's crazy audio technology

Wow. Just wow. And if you don't believe that it happened, you can get proof here! And to think that Peter Dimbrowsky, who is this blog's favourite Baulkham Hills Shire councillor, was about to be subjected to that filth. It's good that he was not involved so he can go on leading that glorious shire into a golden age. One day he'll be mayor. Go Dimbrowsky, go!

I Swear To God

If I don't get Foxtel soon, I'm going to fucking kill myself

Continuity

Continuing this week's theme of 'Things Tommy Doesn't Get, and the blog's general theme of 'Shit Blogs On Fridays', I bring you two things I don't really understand.


#1 - A Fall



So, my new neighbours are a nice old retired couple. Top folks. They have a dog like Vincent from Lost, except it doesn't foreshadow death, which is what you really want in a pet. Anyway, the other day the wife neighbour fell over and broke her arm (OR WAS SHE PUSHED?~@!).

Nothing shocking, what with old people and their weak bones and their love of cage fighting. But it was the way I heard the story that got me confused.

It wasn't 'She fell over and broke her arm.' It was 'She had a fall.' You know, 'A Fall'. The thing only old people get. At what age do you go from the past tense to the really past tense? And why do people kind of...whisper when they say it? I don't get it.

Speaking of domestic violence...



#2 - A Choke



If Benoit made his son tap from the Crippler Crossface, his wrestling finisher, this means one of two things.

a) Chris Benoit has a deep appreciation for irony, which I don't get.

or

b) Wrestling is real.


I haven't been this confused since I saw Jack Bauer naked in Season 2 of 24.

Optimus Prime Rides A Girly Bike

So, I saw Transformers last night. Top movie. Explosions, robots and Shia LaBeouf being really Jewish. How can you go wrong?

Oh.

Well, anyway.. Transformers good. I wasn't particularly hyped for it, for the sole reason that aside from generally liking giant robots fighting other giant robots, I was never really into Transformers as a kid. I preferred M.A.S.K, or Hulk Hogan's Rock'N'Wrestling. I thought about it a little, and I've managed to come up with a list. So here it is...


Tommy's Top 4 Reasons Why He Doesn't Get Transformers




1. Latent hostility to the Japanese


2. I don't buy it.

They live on a robot planet, have a robot war, crash land on Earth and.. transform into cars? Can they only pick one thing? What use does transforming into a Mack Truck or a Volkswagon or a freaking cassette player do on your robot homeworld?

HAI GUYZ DONT WORRY I TOTALLY RECORDED THAT CONVERSATION

3. The Names

Optimus Prime is a wicked name. So is Starscream. Even Ironhide is pretty cool. But... Bumblebee? Presumably, Bumblebee got named that on his home planet, so... are their many types of bees on you robot homeworld? Let alone enough to warrant an entire genus?

And you, Bonecrusher. Just a question for you - how many robots have bones? Fuckin' retard.

4. Decepticons?

I know they're the bad guys. I know it's a pretty sweet name for bad guys. But how is Megatron going to recruit new members when his faction's name has a synonym for 'betray' in the first few letters?

Hey

Oh hey Meggy

You wanna join my team?

Hmm...

What's wrong? Is it Starscream? I know he can be a little handsy...

No, it's not that...

You sure, because I can tell him to stop?

No, it's just the name. I mean... won't you like... deceive me, or something?


No.

But it's in your nam-

No.

I think I might join the Autobots instead.

Fuck you, Bonecrusher.




And so ends the list.





I had a crush on Jazz.

Rove vs XZibit, and John Howard vs Australia

Ok, Rove vs XZibit is officially the weirdest celebrity feud ever. This isn't like Rosie vs Trump, or Paris vs Nicole, or Lindsay vs Her Nasal Cavity, it's on a whole new level.

The deal was, XZibit was meant to be on Rove's show last Sunday, but got offended by one of Rove's producers, then stormed off in what I presume was a car pimped out with an in-built plasma screen, fishtank and shower.

YO MAN I MUCH PREFER 'THE NATION WITH MICK MOLLOY'

I don't know who to side with. On one side - Rove. The Gold Logie stealer. Funny enough, but over-rated. Provides employment to Pete Hellier, Corinne Grant and Dave Hughes. Bad man.

On the other, Xzibit. Host of Pimp My Ride, which isn't as good as My Super Sweet Sixteen. A rapper. Can't spell 'Exhibit'. Is black- American. Bad man.

Hmm.. If only there was some way to decide this...



XZIBIT WINS!! FUCK ROVE!! THAT FUCKIN RACIST!!


Speaking of racism, a Galaxy Poll came out today. Aside from having Rudd up 55-45, it also reveals this interesting statistic, r.e Howard's drive to stamp out child sex abuse in indigenous communities:

Some 58 per cent of voters believe Mr Howard is addressing problems in the communities because of the looming election, the exclusive Galaxy opinion survey has found.

Just 25 per cent said Mr Howard launched the intervention because he really cares about the problem.

You know when I'd retire as Prime Minister? When a poll came out that showed only 1/4 of the country believed I was genuine about being anti-pedo.

XZibit for PM.