Things I Noticed At My Job

So, I've been at my new job for about three weeks now. Everything's going well, especially the XBox 360 I bought with my winnings. Ain't nothing like killing some zombies with a chainsaw in a shopping mall after work, and playing on the XBox is fun too.

Because this is my first real job (Subway doesn't count, nor does my brief sojourn in Monaco where I taught at the Sojourn School Of Pooncy Words), I've been noticing a lot of things about work life. Let's go through them one by one, because doing them all at once would make any punctuation I include pretty worthless.

7 THINGS I LEARNT AT WORK :)
The Work Edition

1. Work is absolutely nothing like The Office. When you try and mess with the guy named Dwight, he reports you to the boss. And if you hit on the secretary, he tells you to piss off.

2. You'd think not being at home would mean you ate less and better. Wrong. People in offices use any excuse to eat cake. See #3.

3. A lot of people in offices are fat. One lady at my work is so fat she only sits on her swivel chair with one of her arse cheeks. The other cheek hangs over the edge like a beanbag, and provides shelter for a small family of migrants.

4. Being paid monthly is awesome, because I don't have a mortgage to pay off and it's like receiving a small inheritence every four weeks (I also hate my extended family).

5. Channel Nine are fucking retarded.

6. People actually download the show How I Met Your Mother. And they watch it. Voluntarily. These people are dangerous.

7. Having a job removes most motivation to update your blog frequently. Instead, you create 7 point list blogs, and use the final joke to talk about how dodgy they are. Also, you find less time to update your 2nd blog, where you pretend to be dyslexic and upload really depressing pictures of people feeding livestock.