The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimaticity

As I love so many television shows, the annual Emmy Awards is always a heart-wrenching experience. How can I choose between 24 and Lost, or Entourage and The Office? Do I pull for Philip Norden or Robert Florio to win Most Outstanding Single-Camera Picture Editing For A Miniseries Or Movie? Why do they do this to me?

because we hate you, tommy

But never has been harder to choose than this year. For Most Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series, I'm faced with a choice.

Perennial favourite Terry O'Quinn, aka John mother fuckin Locke, from LOST, vs Michael Emerson, aka the leader of The Others, Ben Linus, also from LOST, vs Masi Oka, aka Hiro Nakamura, from Heroes.

This is worse than when The Ultimate Warrior fought Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania VI. So, to help me decide, and because my focus group polling has shown my readers prefer blogs in bullet points, I'm going to go through the pros and cons of each nominee, in a bit I'm going to call...


The Pros And Cons Of Each Nominee (some jokes by Matt)



Pros

• A very good actor.
• Eyes so cold they'll be used on Emmy night to cool Lindsay Lohan's vodka.
• Will explode minds of viewers when it turns out that he was right when he said 'Don't nominate me for an Emmy, it will mean the end of us all' and that the broadcast everyone is watching is actually the 2012 Emmys.

Cons

• Will kidnap cast members of Grey's Anatomy to operate on his spinal tumour.
• 'Linus'?
  
• Acceptance speech will mainly contain evil monologues and death stares.

Pros

• Will probably end up knifing someone, win or lose.
• You know when he stared down The Monster in Season 1? He wasn't acting.
• May celebrate his Emmy win by crushing Freddie Prinze Jr. with a plane

Cons

• Father was a con artist, so has many cons.
• If he loses, might spend another season being an emo bitch.
• Has the potential to cause a deadly overdose of cool if seated next to Kiefer Sutherland.

Pros

• Ability to bend space and time, can win and lose Emmy simultaneously.
• First Asian male to be nominated for an Emmy since
• Will yell YATA!! if he wins.

Cons

• (Asian)
• Cute bumbling foreigner gimmick will get old by Season 3.
• His dad is gay irl lolll.

Well, after that I................... still can't choose. Let's just hope Shatner doesn't win.