I was gunna title this one 'Daddy's Home', but that just sounds really lame

HAI!

Just thought I'd POP in...................... ok no more cat pictures

I'm back and all moved in to my new pad. At the moment, I'm overlooking a picturesque golf course. A Korean man just missed a put on the 17th Green.

Why does it matter that he's Korean?

Because it's funnier, that's why.

A lot has changed since I left. Paris went to jail, Vince McMahon got blown up and, according to what I could figure out based on a combination of Australia's finest journalism - The Daily Telegraph and Seven News, a train exploded and caused the Hunter to flood.

I can't believe I missed the Paris/jail thing. Like, all I would have done is re-use predictable gags about her getting fucked lots, but that's funny too, isn't it?

But seriously, I think I've lost it. After a three week break, the best idea I had for a blog was bitching about how much Shrek 3 branded food products there are these days.

(But seriously - McDonalds, M&Ms, two types of chips, Arnotts and Kellogs cereals - wtf)

Swamp-Tastic!

I could bitch about the election I guess, like how The Australian spun a Labor 56-44 polling victory to be 'Howard closing gap' even though they completely dismissed the one two weeks earlier that had Labor at 60-40, and celebrated the one that had Labor at 'just' 53-47, so how can Howard close the fucking gap when it's three points worse than the one you had an orgasm over, you biased fucks


But that would be boring.


So, I turn to my guiding star, my light on the hill, my fast-becoming-dry well of gold blogs - Samuel Gordon Stewart. But even Sammy can't help me. All he does these days is write imaginary letters to radio personalities, post song lyrics and... well, this:

I wonder, am I the only one who has noticed this recent surge in discarded post-it notes?

Hm. Well, at least some things don't change.