Thursday, February 22

Well, at least you're not Tom Cruise..

I know it's pretty stupid to start an argument with an example from a nutbar in America, but here goes...



And that's today's subjects kiddos. Atheists. The other white people.

For the record, I'm not an atheist. I'm agnostic, which is a nice way of saying I have no clue. But I do think having faith that there is no God is only a tiny bit less intellectually retarded than having faith that there is a God.

Sure, atheist's beliefs are backed up by a little more substantial evidence and a little less magic, but they still make the basic assumption that we as humans can know the answers to the universe. Their answers are just different from the folk who think a wizard did it.

In my opinion, how we got here, how matter was formed out of nothing, is a question nobody can profess to answer. I don't think it will ever be answered. Just like I don't think a kitty cat could understand quantum physics, I don't think humans can ever understand the universe.


he tried :(


But, enough of my disclaimer. See that letter at the top? I get that it's one chick. One crazy, most likely fat chick. But she's not the only one.




Seriously, if I was an atheist, I would curse the being I think doesn't exist right about now. They lose out to MORMONS? I mean, sure, having 7 wives means 7 more votes, but even Christians bag out Mormons! Mormons are to Christians like Britney Spears is to Lindsay Lohan. Even she's like 'Girl, you need some help.'

And while we're there - MUSLIMS? And this is in America! They get blown up by Muslims! Repeatedly!

The average American voter would put a burqa over Lady Liberty before they let a guy who thinks that whole 'walking on water' thing sounds a bit suss have control of the nuclear arsenal! At least he can work on fucking Sunday! That's 1/7th more work!

But hey, at least they beat Scientologists. By three percent. You know what three percent is? In the margin of error.

This poll says that Americans would be three percent away from a war with Xenu before they even contemplated letting Joe Atheist sit behind the big desk.

Though, I gotta say, having 'Atheist' as his last name probably wouldn't help the campaign much. I'd change it to something more acceptable, like 'Jesus', or 'Obama'.



But it's not just in polls. In America, eight states have still yet to remove (un-enforcable) clauses in their constitution that prohibit atheists from running for political office. And you don't even wanna know what they do to witches.

It's a lot better in Australia though, where prominent politicians have publicly declared that they're pagan bastards.

Like Mark Latham.

Ok, that was a bad example.

Especially because his eventual successor, Kevin Rudd devoted some of his first media to some boring shit about the origins of liberal Christianity.


Now for the bit where I make my point



I don't like the idea that atheists, people who, on the whole, put their faith in cold hard facts and rely on emperical evidence to make their judgements, are marginalised in society.

I don't like that in the last U.S Congress, there were 0 atheists, yet 1 former KKK member, 1 pedo, at least 3 known alcoholics and a guy who thought Bill Clinton tried to assassinate him are currently making policy that affects the entire world.

Maybe rather than excluding atheists from the democratic process, Christians and Jews and Muslims should do more to include them. Because I'm sure in between the bits about atheists burning in eternal hellfire while 69'ing Saddam Hussein, the good books say to love thy neighbour.

And maybe the religious folk should do more to isolate the nutbars like we saw in the first letter. Maybe then religion would have a better image, nobody would be an atheist, and our streets would finally be crime free.

But, until then, I guess we're stuck with this for a while...


If I wasn't going to hell already, I think this pic just sealed it.





11 comments:

Anonymous said...

the two headed girl has more chance of being elected than an atheist

Anonymous said...

soft target. this article is like beating up an amputee with downs syndrome.

Anonymous said...

omg the kitty is so cutteee

Anonymous said...

Soft target? Sounds like a shameless excuse to use a generic cliche saying in order to come off superior.

Anonymous said...

"Their answers are just different from the folk who think a wizard did it."
a wizard? you just insulted lost of the worlds population. nice effort

Anonymous said...

lots not lost why dont you have an edit button?

Anonymous said...

Only a wizard could invent such a cute little kitten.

Tommy, you're a bit of a leftie (as I've said before), but I love you. Marry me? I'm about 6/10 for looks.

Anonymous said...

unabomber

mattsampson said...

you only did this so you could stir up comments. also, i dont like this article because it pushes sir william's head further down the page. i will give you $10 if you rename it to sirwilliamlyneiscooldotcom

Tommy said...

"Anonymous said...

lots not lost why dont you have an edit button? "

you can delete your own posts if you register an account and don't hide behind anon like a little girl

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

"Their answers are just different from the folk who think a wizard did it."
a wizard? you just insulted lost of the worlds population. nice effort


SPOILERS: dumbledore dies in John 19:30