The G20 Protests: A TommyIsCoolDotCom Investigation

The 2006 G20 Summit was in Melbourne on the weekend. As usual, the meeting of the world's 20 largest economies was attended by international delegates, and protested by festy hippies.

Don't get me wrong, protesting is cool. The massive Iraq War protests were awe-inspiring, the protests of the 1960's and 70's produced widespread policy changes, and protests to Smith's Chips saw the return of Tasty Toobs.

And I also realise that there's probably plenty of good reasons to protest the G20, and the World Trade Organisation, and the World Bank. You might think that neo-liberalist economic policies aren't the cure to global poverty, or you might want to see third world debt relief, or you might hate Jews. All perfectly acceptable reasons.

But it's the festy hippies fighting with cops that get all the attention, and today's blog is no different.

To find the most bag-out-worthy of the protesters, I first headed to the old whippin' horse - the Commies. Sorry, 'Socialist Alternative'. Here's what they think of the G20.

'This gathering of some of the world's worst warmongering trash can bring nothing but misery to millions'

Ooo, please, tell me more, Joseph. Where can I subscribe to your newsletter that you make in your garage?

But even though that is a funny sentence, it's not really that crazy. I needed something more extreme, something point-laugh hilarious, something that smoked hydro instead of normal pot. I needed festier hippies. And pictures.

So, I went to the home of shoddy journalism and unemployed arts grads. No, not my blog. I went to IndyMedia.

For those of you who don't know it, IndyMedia is a free news source, where anyone can publish an article. It was meant to have been a new, independent, democratic form of information. Instead, it's festy hippies bitching about pigs ruining their protests. But don't take my word for it...


Niiiiiiice.

But to be fair, just like the G20 Protesters weren't all festy, violent hippies, IndyMedia has some rational voices.


Nice one, Lesbo.

Well, it's nice and rational until you read the comments...



Wowzas. Somebody's life partner got a baton to the funhole. Cops aren't just pigs anymore, they're sub-human. How does that even work, and more importantly - what does that make Robocop?

The nature of MonkeyCop was... irrepressible

Because they... well, initiated and continued the violence, the IndyMedia kids got plenty of exclusive photos of police brutality/natural selection. There's even a Before and After.

Before:

oh shit, it's killing heidi

After:

Wait, that's killing Heidi

And I know I already did the 'After' shot, but I couldn't find another place to put this picture.

After Again:

quick karen, take her to the lesbo-mobile

Then there's the more peaceful Oil Bus, made of plastic, oil-based paint and metal, then transported to the protest by petrol powered cars...

It runs on unleaded naivety

And finally, Santa Claus.




You know, maybe if they put the guy in that picture at the forefront of their protests instead of the festy hippies, people's minds might get changed. Until then, the Imperialist Zionists will run the world, and the G20 Protesters will go back to their arts degrees.

And I think that's the way it should always be.



Props to this dude's Flickr site for some of the pics.