Stand Up "Australia" - A "Comedy" "Show"

Aside from Wil Anderson and John Howard, I don't normally bag out stand-up comedians. Because being a stand-up comedian is a pretty tough job. It requires a lot of guts to hoist yourself on stage and do a set, contain yourself when the crowd doesn't laugh at your wicked joke about boongs, and then do it all over again the next night. I don't think I could do it, considering my hand shakes whenever I do a speech at a 21st/wedding.

But as I've shown before, there are exceptions to this rule. And Foxtel's TheComedyChannel just keeps pumping them out in a new show they call Stand Up Australia. The fact that the backdrop behind the performers included the Statue Of Liberty for the first week or so shows how much thought they've put into the show. But my beef isn't with that blatant Americanism, it's with the "comedians" on the show, specifically one who I've forgotten the name of.

Welcome to Stand-Up Australia, throw some shrimp on the barbie, digger. Yahoo Serious, Crikey!

It was a Friday night, I was losing poker to my mates, and the show was on in the background. I don't know if it was the guy's voice, or some kind of Spider-Sense on our parts, but for some reason we all stopped playing to watch him. And these are, as good as I can transcribe them, the jokes one of the "comedians" on Stand Up Australia used. If it helps, he sounded like a woggy version of Seinfeld, so use that voice in your head. Ok, here goes:


'Don't you hate when people make that 'refreshed' noise after they've taken a sip of a drink?

You know the.... *makes noise*.

If you're that refreshed, why don't you FUCK OFF?!!'


Yep, that's the joke. In case you missed it, the punchline was 'fuck off'. BOOM BOOM BOOM!!

But that's not all. What do you do after you make an awesome joke? You milk it for all it's worth. Flushed with the success of using a swear word to get cheap fucking laughs, he keeps going. First, he soaks in the 0.6 seconds of laughs. Then, he attacks.

He throws in some kind of lame set-up that I forget, then does a bit of sign language for ten seconds to stunned silence, then says a joke so funny, so well-timed, so poignant, that it left us all gobsmacked. He finishes his sign language then says.....


'I just mimed FUCK OFFFF!!!'.


brilliance.


ComedianwhosenameIforget, I take my hat off to you, sir.

What's the deal with airline peanuts -
if you can't open the pack, why don't you fucckkk offff?!