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My hits double every time I talk about Big Brother (and they halve when I post a guest blog from REDACTED) so I figured I'd give it another turkey slap to the face with my blog-penis.

SackToTheFaceGate 2006 has taken over the nation. Everybody's talking about it, from handsome bloggers, to radio DJs, to news readers. Sadly, we didn't get to hear Sandra Sully say 'turkey slap', but that was wishful thinking anyway. So with everyone in the nation consumed with the details of the short-term relationship between Ashley's balls and Camilla's cheek, we turn to our esteemed leaders to guide our country back on course. Because with the War on Terror, the growing health crisis and the drought, Australia cannot afford to be distracted by such petty, Big Brother trivialities.

Oh wait, apparently we can.

After having successfully solved every single problem facing the Australian continent, our wise representatives in Canberra have turned their focus to the Turkey Slap.

John Howard called for Ten to do a bit of 'self-regulation' and cancel the show.

Kim Beazley, indecisive as usual, didn't approve of SackToTheFaceGate 2006 because he had 'daughters', but just thought Big Brother shouldn't be brought back next year.

Queensland Premier Peter Beattie said Big Brother shouldn't be axed because of the jobs it provides, Democrats Senator Andrew Bartlett said the politicians should STFU, and that slimey Family First dick Andrew Fielding said the Turkey Slap had a detrimental effect on families. Because so many children were watching the Big Brother live internet stream at 4:07am (the only time it was ever broadcast).

'Seriously' Ten has flipped all these old coots the big bird, and announced that Big Brother 7 will be produced next year.

YA SRSLY

But no matter what you think about Big Brother, I think we can all gather around the TommyIsCool campfire and agree that politicians are a bunch of dicks, and that this is how revolutions start.

Camilla 4 Prime Minister