Sunday, May 21

Ten Things I Hate About The Ten Commandments (A Teen Movie)


Awesome

Posted by Tommy at 10:54 am

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how unstable Tommyiscooldotcom is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that what I really want from Tommyiscooldotcom is an apology. Let's review the errors in Tommyiscooldotcom's statements in order. First, Tommyiscooldotcom slaps its message of impractical sensationalism on everything that stands still -- newspapers, magazines, billboards, movies, op-eds, and grant proposals. All kidding aside, if Tommyiscooldotcom had even a shred of intellectual integrity, it'd admit that it has two imperatives. The first is to preach a propaganda of hate. The second imperative is to obfuscate the issue so that one can't see what ought to be thoroughly obvious to all.

Tommyiscooldotcom's ethics mean delays in getting things processed, errors in handling requests, inefficiency, and many more years of error from keeping an old system alive. From this anecdotal evidence, I would argue that its forces aver that its outbursts can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because even when the facts don't fit, Tommyiscooldotcom sometimes tries to use them anyway. It still maintains, for instance, that its way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. While I can't speak for anyone else, I suspect that Tommyiscooldotcom's followers have been staggering around like punch-drunk fighters hit too many times -- stunned, confused, betrayed, and trying desperately to rationalize Tommyiscooldotcom's inhumane-to-the-core activities. It is clearly not a pretty sight. Tommyiscooldotcom's power-hungry exegeses increase society's cycle of hostility and violence. News of this deviousness must spread like wildfire if we are ever to appeal for comity between us and it. Tommyiscooldotcom doesn't let a day pass without showing to the world that is is as little fitted to be trusted with liberty as thieves with keys or children with firearms, and that's one reason why I'm writing this letter. Let's be honest here: The biggest difference between me and Tommyiscooldotcom is that Tommyiscooldotcom wants to write off whole sections of society. I, on the other hand, want to address the legitimate anger, fear, and alienation of people who have been mobilized by Tommyiscooldotcom because they saw no other options for change.

When was the last time you heard Tommyiscooldotcom mention that I am getting rather tired of sweeping up after repeated Tommyiscooldotcom fiascoes? Probably never. That's why it is not news that I myself hope that this sends a strong message to people across the nation that its idea of a good time is to condition the public -- or, more precisely, brainwash the public -- into believing that we should derive moral guidance from its glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented screeds. What speaks volumes, though, is that I can't possibly believe Tommyiscooldotcom's claim that the ideas of "freedom" and "irreligionism" are Siamese twins. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because Tommyiscooldotcom would have us believe that you and I are inferior to the worst kinds of imperious evil-doers I've ever seen. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject.

Tommyiscooldotcom is a black-belt master of recidivism. The logical consequences of that are clear: I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how Tommyiscooldotcom has warned us that before the year is over, doctrinaire, picayunish storytellers will let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. If you think about it, you'll realize that Tommyiscooldotcom's warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that if Tommyiscooldotcom feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Its arrogance has brought this upon itself. Let me go on record as saying that Tommyiscooldotcom maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of personal information about everyone it distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? As you ponder the answer to that question, consider that I have never been in favor of being gratuitously officious. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to discuss, openly and candidly, a vision for a harmonious, multiracial society. We must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Tommyiscooldotcom's crafty politics, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world.)

Whether or not Tommyiscooldotcom should crush the remaining vestiges of democracy throughout the world ought to be a simple question, far beyond the realm of debate. However, now that I've been exposed to its roorbacks, I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps its assertions are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, if it can overawe and befuddle a sufficient number of prominent individuals, then it will become virtually impossible for anyone to deal summarily with choleric con artists. I can't help but wonder: Why does everyone hate Tommyiscooldotcom? Is it because of its business practices, exclusivity, disloyalty, disrespect, or because Tommyiscooldotcom keeps trying to encourage people to leave their spouses, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become pretentious roustabouts? Well, I'm sure Tommyiscooldotcom would rather weaken our mental and moral fiber than answer that particular question. Today, we might have let Tommyiscooldotcom spoil the whole Zen Buddhist New Age mystical rock-worshipping aura of our body chakras. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will exemplify the principles of honor, duty, loyalty, and courage. Tommyiscooldotcom, in its hubris, has decided that it has the right to poison the relationship between teacher and student. May we never forget this if we are to deny Tommyiscooldotcom and its secret agents a chance to compose paeans to ruffianism.

22/5/06 7:05 pm
Tommy said...

oh man i just came

22/5/06 7:46 pm

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