tommyiscooldotcom

Well folks, Tommy asked for it, now you have to sit through it. It's the socko.blogspot.com not-at-all-exclusive about the Mark Latham brain snap that ended with a camera in ruins, a photographer with an injured wrist and a nation left wondering why the fuck this guy isn't our Prime Minister.

Legal pundits are speculating whether Mr Latham's 'sad clown' impersonation will actually hold up in court.

The Herald Sun reports, without bias of any kind, that 'Mark Latham destroyed [a photographer's camera] after throwing a trademark hissy fit outside a Hungry Jack's restaurant'. Adding insult to injury and terrible reporting, they continue, 'the Nikon camera is armour-plated and designed for use in war zones -- but it was no match for the tortured mind of Mr Latham. After sharing a hamburger with young sons Isaac and Oliver on Thursday, Mr Latham stole the camera from photographer Ross Schultz and then tried to king hit him when he was asked to return it'. The great part about this all was that this was between calling the photgrapher a pedophile because he was trying to take photos of Latham's kids, and later attempting to run over reporters who were waiting outside his house.


Reports indicate Mr Latham's political career was also found strewn amongst the wreckage.

Have you ever noticed that every time Mark Latham gets into a scrap with someone, he always tries to 'king hit' them? The reason for this is surely obvious. Mark Latham is a king. If you tried to take photos of me and my kids while we were having lunch, chances are I'd be pretty pissed as well, but this guy has the stones to ante up and actually physically attack anyone who comes near him, his family, their friends, pets, relatives or distant acquaintances. Pancreatitis can't stop him, law suits can't stop him, and being banned from riding taxis sure as shit can't stop him, although it has inconvenienced him somewhat.

Now, any 'discussion' regarding paparazzi and privacy laws is bound to include some of the following, so let's get those out of the way right now:

Princess Diana was probably killed because of the paparazzi, but it was only days before the Queen planned to have her offed anyway, so it was no big loss.

Yes, Jennifer Aniston had nudie pictures taken of her from miles away, but they weren't that good anyway, plus Friends is over and Brad Pitt's moved on so no one cares about her anymore.

No, Heath Ledger did not spit on photographers at a recent premiere, but yes, it was hell funny to see him and that blonde twig he hangs out with now get soaked.

Yes, celebrities should seek complete privacy by bunkering down in their climate-controlled germ-free hyperbaric chambers, never emerging to see the light of day except to buy frogurt and make the occasional Police Academy movie.

Yes, Mission to Moscow was the superior of all Police Academy movies.

The sad thing about the Latham story is the blatant attempts at character assassination that have been going on, originating chiefly from the Daily Telegraph, that pillar of Australian shlock journalism, who the photographer in question worked for. Since the 'scandal erupted', they have accused Marky Mark Latham of boasting about his inflated pension, attempting to kill members of the press, insanity, depression, vulgar language and there have been thinly veiled implications of transexuality. And it's completely ridiculous, Mark's pension is not inflated at all.

This is one of those Jack Bauer-like situations (new series of 24 is awesome, by the way), where the guy should go from public enemy to public hero in the space of an hour (or, in Jack's case, probably wanted dead by CTU to LEVEL 5 ACCESS ALL SYSTEMS OMG ROFL). Give the guy carte blanche for whatever ass-kicking, taxi-driver-beating, camera-smashing, pedophile-calling he wants, leave it in place for four years, see if it worked, if not go back to what we had.

In other words, give him the chance we never gave the Labor Party.