tommyiscooldotcom

This post has no point and is completely useless

Kind of like this guy

I got a new toothbrush the other day. The thing with toothbrushes is, they really aren't hard to get right. You have a piece of plastic and some bristles at the end, it's not rocket surgery. But try telling that to the toothbrush police. No, they're not happy with plain old toothbrushes. They think toothbrushes need things like rubber grips', polishing bristles, rubber gum cleaners, and my personal favourite - tongue cleaners. If I wanted a clean tongue, I'd go over my mouth with a scotch brite in the mornings. And I'd also stop licking the handrails at primary schools.

What else. Today is my mate Gumby's TWENTY FIRST BIRTHDAY. Happy birthday Gums. In case you don't know him, guy's the TITS. I feel kinda old now my mates are turning 21. It seems like only yesterday we were in Year 10, held captive in Michael Jackson's basement, our screams of terror the only sound echoing through the dank, dark chamber. The creeping footsteps of our captor wakes us in our sleep as his hands poke at our fresh wounds, the physical souvenirs of our constant abuse. I lay on the cold concrete floor, gripping my thin blanket. The dead bodies of our friends lay in the corner, a thick stench of death permeating from their soiled clothes. I shut my eyes tight, pulling the blanket over my bruised neck.

One day we will be saved.

One day Tony Danza will return like the prophecy said



One day