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THE KANE BABY - Part 2 - Attack of The Miscarriage
(scroll down for part one)


Matt Hardy wasn't very happy, and challenged Kane to a match whereby the winner would get to marry Lita. Because, the only way to get revenge on a guy who impregnated your girl is to give him a chance to marry her. So, of course, poor old Matt lost, and Kane married his woman in an evil wedding. Then, of course, Lita began accompanying Kane to the ring for his matches, being the supportive wife and all. But then, the shocking twist. In a match pitting Kane against another wrestler called Gene Snitsky, Lita interfered, and was knocked to the ground.


'homoerotic', the new lynx deodorant for wrestlers

Sadly for Lita, Kane, and everyone who wanted to see a little Kane baby, Lita had a miscarriage and lost the baby. Lita would eventually accept this loss by the next episode of TV, and would grow to fall in love with Kane, who by now was obviously a good guy. Because nothing says 'hero' like 'forced a girl to sleep with me and then beat the shit out of her boyfriend live on pay per view'

And you know what the real kicker is? In REAL life, Lita and her original on-screen boyfriend Matt Hardy had been dating for like five years, and then Lita cheated on him while he was injured (he got actually injured during his match with Kane) with another wrestler named Edge, then when real life Matt Hardy bitched about it on his website, he got FIRED by the WWE! So not only did his on-screen girlfriend have a baby with a supernatural demon spawn and then fall in love with said-spawn, off-screen she was banging someone else!

Ain't life a kick in the pants