Pro Wrestling is the coolest thing ever. When it's good, it is the best drama, the best comedy and the best sports event you will ever watch in your life. It can make you suspend your disbelief, make you jump out of your chair and yell at the TV while you watch 250-pound guys in tights pretend to kill each other. But when pro wrestling is bad, it's REALLY bad. And after showing you the pretty side of pro wrestling a few posts down (also the pretty ass, pretty tits and pretty legs of pro wrestling too), it's time to show you the ugly side of my one true love.
THE KANE BABY
The WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) is the big show in pro wrestling, like the NRL is to Rugby League, or the Canterbury Bulldogs are to gangbanging. One of the WWE 'superstars' is a man named Kane. Kane is the half-brother of The Undertaker, a supernatural, half-dead guy who can shoot lightning and make arena lights turn off. Kane also has the power of making fireworks shoot from the ring. Which wouldn't really come in handy if you get in a fight in a club, but it's really handy if you happen to be a pro wrestler with a fire permit.
grrr me hungry
You see, The Undertaker set fire to his parent's house when he was younger, killing them and Kane. However, KANE WAS NOT DEAD. So after getting his revenge on The Undertaker in 1997, he kinda forgave him and then they were friends again. As you do.
So they went their seperate ways, Kane's burns healed, and he went on to become a regular WWE superstar. Sure, Kane was still evil and did a few things like throw people off stages, electrocute Shane McMahon's testicles with a car battery
and the other stuff kids get up to these days, but then... Kane fell in love.
With Lita.
grrr me slutty
Lita is a female wrestler, who at the time was dating another wrestler named Matt Hardy.
lita i don't mean to alarm you but you have the WWF logo on your right breast
So, Kane did the only thing anyone would in a situation like this. He threatened to kill Matt Hardy unless Lita slept with him. So, Lita agreed, and on an episode of WWE RAW, told Matt Hardy she was pregnant.
With Kane's baby.
:O
Stay tuned folks for the thrilling conclusion to this post LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW MONDAY MAY 16TH
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