Friday, May 18

My Eighteenth Favourite Site

I like pages that do things for you. Like, YouTube automatically sorts all the DaxFlame videos to the top of my screen. My blog shows me the most recent comments on the top right. LathamPorn.com automatically downloads the latest videos for me.

And now, Fundies Say The Darndest Things! does my religion-bashing.


props to some hotty for linking me the site


It's basically a collection of quotes, from sites like ChristianForums.com, and FreeConservatives.com, AnswersInGenesis.org and other conservative Christian sites. And, it's Top 100 Quotes page is a pure, unadulterated comedic goldmine. All I have to do is copy-paste!

Here's one where a God Warrior has written a little skit about a typical atheist household (and spells 'Atheist' wrong). The Atheist Dad comes home, from a long day of... not worshipping a god, and hilarity ensues...
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.

God, it's like the screenplay to Hey Dad!

Here's Crash, from TheologyOnline...

"You got it backwards.

Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.

Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales."

Now, obviously a lot of the quotes on this site are from the special kind of American fundies, who think Jesus is George Bush's National Security Advisor, and that NASCAR is the Lord in action. And that leads to even more gold...

"I appreciate your recommendation, and it is intriguing, but as a pro-lifer, I cannot support an organization that is opposed to the death penalty."

And a tiny bit of racism....

"But God don't talk in Arabic. He talks in a REAL language, namely, English. It's true that back in them days He translated that to some other language after Speaking it in English, but after all, it's His universe and He can do what He doggone well wants to do.

And some more gold. I hope they're not talking about Obama :(

"As a Christian (of sorts and kind of), I know it is harsh, uncivil, boorish and very unchristianlike not to wish someone a speedy recovery. Nevertheless ... he's a Democrat. Democrats are the most horrific enemies this Christian, conservative nation will ever face.

You know...that one might actually be right...


For the sake of religious balance, here's an equally dumb quote from an atheist...

We Should show Christians that their religion shall not be tolerated. They should all be put in extermination camps and they shall die. And then they'll realize they have no soul and the bible is a bunch of crud."

Though, in his defense, he did write it on YouTube. You can say anything there.


Of course, there's also some debating tips, for the people who might try to use a site like this against them...

""Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic.""

Hehe. Man, that one was "funny".

“The gay sensibility,” one speaker informed the audience, is ironic and characterized by the excessively performative use of “air quotes.”

Indeed, irony itself is a gay invention, a coping mechanism for gay people who recognize that they don’t really fit in with normal society."

Well, I "guess" that "makes" me a "flaming queer" then. God, this feels like rain on my wedding day.

And now, the World's Most Inappropriate LOL ...

"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol"

Of course, there's some that I think are made-up. At least, they HAVE to be made-up. Nobody can be this funny. But, regardless, it's my favourite quote on the site....

How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that

1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys

2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them

3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years

4.how come we cant speak monkey


That guy should write me a guest blog.

I would pay him in bananas, lol

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Anonymous said...

Lay Off Fundie-tality

Anonymous said...

christ people are that stupid

Anonymous said...

Those crazies ripped the 'ATHIEST DAD' skit right out of Richard McBeef.

Anonymous said...

amusing? yes
comedy gold? no

Anonymous said...

anonymous? yes
cockface? yes

Anonymous said...

nice, amusing and dare i say comedy gold.

Anonymous said...

that was very funny, i really did lol.

Anonymous said...

here's another dumb fundy quote

"jesus existed"

Anonymous said...

how can they believe this shit