Wednesday, February 14

WATCH OUT BERNICE - BERT HAS A HAMMER

Ladies and gentlemen (okay, mostly gentlemen), I have something awesome to show you.

This is my friend Bernice, and he has a video blog. Recently someone sent him quite a mean message which he didn't take well to. This was his response:



Did you hear that? 'Y'all are the ones who don't know things'. He sure stuck it to us. But, in the guy's defence, it is fun to watch stupid people.

Demonstration:


This kid is a school shooting waiting to happen. In about two years he's going to take out his whole school with a semi-automatic whilst draped in the skin of dead prostitutes. But first, more videos:



^^ Damn man, Bernice has some smooooooth mutha fuckin' moves, dawg. If you ask me, the only way she could have come on to him more was by taking off his blazer and button-up shirt and licking his two neck moles.



^^ This one is worth watching just for the first twenty seconds. Like, he had me fooled at first and I thought it was just great timing that he turned on his camera at the exact right time that there was an earthquake, but then it all goes horribly wrong...





^^ Bernice heads out and totally smokes some thugs on the b-ball court, yo.



^^ Bernice makes a slight error in his friend selection. This 'Jacob' kid sounds like he's way too uptight. Also:



The following are Bernice's two 'motion pictures'.

Superman (Better than the original and way hotter too):




DO BIRDS FLY? TIME TO SHAVE THE DAY!


And 'Cool Moves':




ARE YOU READY? I DON'T THINK YOU ARE!


With that, I leave you to roam Bernice's profile (make sure to check out the time Jacob came over), but I will point out one final thing:


























HE TUCKS HIS JACKET INTO HIS PANTS!!

I HAVE A NEW GOD




* Yes, we are aware that this is most likely fake, but the kid's obviously such a genius actor with a gift for comedy gold and reminded us so much of a young Bert Newton with Asperger's Syndrome that we thought we'd make a blog about it anyway.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

he fights like a member of the Putty Patrol

Tommy said...

i used to have hair like that

though i never got so far as the suit tucking

he looks like mc hammer

Tommy said...

i think i just almost wrote a haiku

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