Sunday, December 3

SoulmatesAreCoolDotCom

Now, I don't know about you guys and girls, but I have found that spending all day on the computer reading blogs from some stuck-up little Baulko guy doesn't exactly reel in the ladies. I know, I didn't believe it at first either. So, that's why I have established what Tommy's site was always destined to become - an Internet Dating Match-Making Soulmate-Finding Extravaganza!

Email me your profiles and I'll post 'em up here so that you too can find the man/woman/domesticated animal of your dreams! In the meantime, here are our first lucky love-seekers!

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Damn, ladies, this guy is pretty hot!

About Me:
Hey, ladies! That's me there in the hat! Lookin' good, huh? The guy sitting there with the orange controller is my ex-buddy Todd. The fucked up whore in the middle used to be my ex-girlfriend then she dumped me and started fucking Todd man I should have known she was a stupid trashbag I hope she turns out to be a fucking lesbo. Anyhoodles, my name is Dave (I like to go by Hirochan though ^_^ ) I'm 27 and I live with my life long friend. We're totally straight though hahaahah. I'm currently an assistant manager at my local EB Games (that's Electronic Boutique but I'm sure you know that). I love working there because we get to take games home all the time and I get to see all the cutez0r gamer girls. I'm pretty shy but once you get to know the real me you'll realize how amazing I really am, everyone says so. I'm kind, gentle and will take care of you like no other. I love videogames if you haven't guessed already, so we'll probably be spending a lot of time in Orgrimmar together. I like to act and watch anime. I dress in many diffrent fashions. I like to talk about random stuff and am kind of protective.

What I do with my Time:
I've recently gotten into playing this new hunter I started in the Burning Crusade beta (I have friends in the industry kekeke) and that's taking up a lot of my time and concetration. It's a pretty complicated class to play you know? But I'm not only a PC gamer, I've really branched out lately, I love Dreamcast and Gamecube too. I also like my PS2 because it has some great JRPGS (that's Japanese RPGs, the best kind). I don't like the X-BOX :( :( :( because only frat assholes play Halo.

Why YOU should Date Me:
Well I'm a really kind and loving person, so I'll be able to treat you really well. And I have a great job so you won't have to worry about money. Also I've got Master Level on all the DDR songs so I'm in really good shape.

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taken last night so you know its really me

About Me
I'm 24 years old, unemployed, I live with my parents. I get my own room above the garage, though, so it's totally like having my own place except my mum can still do my laundry and bed-making and stuff.

What I do with my Time:
I mostly sleep until around 2pm, 3 if it was a big night, then get up and drink a bottle or two of Diet Coke and watch some Judge Judy and stuff until Mum gets home from work. Then she generally yells at me to get a job until I storm out and head to a bar. I totally like fart jokes, both making them and laughing at them and sometimes I wake up on the bartender's lawn furniture covered in drain water.

What I am Really Good At:
I'm really good at drinking, and all the bartenders in my town think I'm HILARIOUS. Also, some of the patrons. I pretty much have the video clips to most of the songs on the jukebox memorised. I like that one where they're singing about ho's.

Why you should Date Me:
Well, I guess there's no immediate hurry. I have another 20 or 30 years until the alcohol really starts to get me and possibly starts to affect my bowel control. After that I'll probably need someone to look after me.

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Would you like me to upgrade your cock?

About Me
I'm kind of new to the whole dating scene. I hope you like my profile and maybe we can get together for some fun! I'm a senior UNIX system administrator with over a decade of experience running mainframes and cluster-based data centers. I have two wonderful children, Ashley and Martin, I am motivated and a hard worker and very patient with those around me.

What I do with my Time:
After my kids are put down for the night I like to watch movies or work on some code. I prefer to keep busy and my daily routine certainly helps with that! There's a lot of work being a mother - cooking, cleaning, doing the washing up, but it's all worth it in the end. I also love cock.

What I am Really Good at:
I've developed strong analytical skills over the years and an almost intuitive sense for systems organization and programming. I was directly responsible for implementing a long-term solution to our data storage needs which resulted in a 150% ROI amortized over two years, saving our company nearly a quarter million in hardware costs. I've personally sucked over forty dicks and want to add to my tally. I'm learning to play piano as well.

Why you should Date Me:
Frankly, I'm tired of the whole tentative dating scene and would rather be up front. I'll suck you off on the first date. No joke. So long as you're not a whiny baby about the whole thing, I may even show you a few tricks I learned while on a company junket to Singapore. If you want your balls drained of every last drop of baby-making juice while simultaneously getting better ping times and more security on your UNIX box, I'm the woman for you.

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waaaak waaak waak

About Me:
I have flippers.

What I Do With My Time:
Rob banks, hang out in sewers.

What I Am Good At:
Making funny noises, waddling.

Why You Should Date Me:
My parents never loved me, I grew up under the zoo. I'm a gentlemen and a scholar. Plus, I'm sexy as all hell.

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GOGOR ROCK THE LADIES

About Me:
hi i am GOGOR i like to eating ham and make nice fur blanket

What I do with my Time:
i like jungle and i like to make internets at computer. i hunt leopards and sometimes sew intestine jewelry and eat it

What I'm Really Good At:
well i not good at much but i like doing sex with great womens and LARGE womens too. when i am young mum would say GOGOR YOU AM GOOD AT DOING INTERNET AND MAYBE YOU MAKE RICH US SOMEDAY. plus i type 32 words per mile and smash big rock. rainbow in picture pretty

Why you should Date Me:
gogor do not eat girlfriends you safe for now

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

one word

MILF