Who says 'nonetheless'?

Seriously, you can talk about all your BS water shortages and banana shortages and droughts and global warming, but the most serious issue facing our nation at the moment is the fact that there's never anything to blog about on Fridays. Seriously, if you rank my blogs by quality, with 'I Like Cats' as #1 and that one REDACTED wrote about whales as #264, Friday blogs would be.... somewhat... disproportionately... near the... bottom of. the list.

A few hours ago I started writing 'Tommy's Guide To Cadbury Chocolate' but, let's face it, that was just one big excuse to insult people who like 'Fruit and Nut'. Maybe use a 'yeah, you fruits do like nuts', but how bad is that? It doesn't even make sense. How can fruit like anything, let alone something they couldn't possibly digest?

Then I read some other blogs for 'inspiration' (like how Wil Anderson looks at my blog for 'inspiration'), and saw that The Road To Surfdom (my #1 place to go when I need an opinion on something I don't understand) had gotten into a deal with news.com.au to publish content there.

So I was going to do a blog about how people offered to buy my blog, and then make a joke about a pedo wanting me to blog with my shirt off. I even had a picture of said pedo lined up, which is actually pretty funny by itself, but I won't show you it because I'm saving it for another Friday when I waste your time blogging about blogs that never actually existed. I mean the premise is ok, but the pedo joke stopped being relevant when I turned 16.

And also when I stopped looking like I was 16 (two weeks ago).

not the picture i was referring to, but a topical joke nonetheless

Finally, I thought, no blog, no ideas - bag out Wil Anderson. So I visited his MySpace. I looked at it for way too long (almost three minutes), and the best I came up with was having a go at him for his description of The Shawshank Redemption, the second best movie ever:

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION… The best film about male friendship ever made, well, with the possible exception of Brokeback Mountain. I have the poster over my desk with the tagline “Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.” It makes me cry every time. (Although so do those sorbent ads with the puppy and the bog roll.)

Brokeback/Gay Joke - check. Useless potty humour - check. Ripping off Tommy by using unecessary brackets - check. Kim Beazley is fat joke -pending analysis.

My blog would be so much easier to write if I was successful. Or even employed. Instead, I'll leave you with a joke I couldn't fit anywhere else this entire week.

So, I hear they turned Pluto into a dwarf planet. Finally, somewhere we can put those little bastards. Those little bastards.




Nope