All The Way With LB..... Tommy...

'It's Time'

'I Like Ike'

'Make Love, Not War'

'The Ladder Of Opportunity'

'It's Hammer Time.'


Whether you agree with the sentiments or not, these are examples of famous political slogans. A good slogan can fire-up your supporters, inspire the undecided and sway your opposition. In just a few words, they can articulate exactly what a man or a party stands for. Jimmy Carter's re-election campaign was ruined the moment Ronald Reagan asked 'Are you better off now than you were four years ago?'. When Gough Whitlam said 'It's time.', he captured Australian's hope for a better society. It's politics 101, the simplest, smartest thing anybody can do.


Which is why Kim Beazley can't.


Which two words does Kim think will win him the election? 'Howard Lies'? 'Stronger Economy'? 'COSTELLO LOL!@#'? No. Kim is above those old, uncool words. Kim's resting his hopes on the ultimate insult, two words so vicious, so concise that they could very well destroy John Howard where he stands. Take a look at these quotes, all from the one press conference.

'When it comes to blame shifting, John Howard is the master blaster. John Howard is the master blaster of blame shifting in Australian politics...

'...that’s what I mean about the master blaster of blame shifting.'

'What John Howard is actually saying to the Government of NSW, as he does his master blaster act on blame shifting...'

OH NO HE DID-NT

Daymmn Girl he be droppin BOMBS! You ain't seen no beats so tight!!

A black person

I like to think I know a lot of words, but... master blaster? I mean, I get it if you're talking about a name for a stereo or something, but how do you come up with that when talking about Australian politics? Is he trying to say Howard is really cool? Or did he just mispronounce masturbator?

Ooo-waaa the waa mr speaker rock this bitch

And it's not just exclusive to Kim. It's infested the whole damn party. This is from a Kevin Rudd media statement.

'Downer has got a responsibility to look at our long-term national interests in the South Pacific rather than his short-term political interests which is to sound hairy-chested to the audience back home.'

'Well, Mr Downer is using all sorts of hairy-chested language...'

'Mr Downer seems to think that if he sounds hairy-chested and beat his chest in the air and behaves like a schoolyard bully, that that is going to make things better.'

Zuh?

I like you Kev, even though you are a vampire, but 'Hairy Chested Beating' sounds more like the name to a marginally-successful all-male porno than it does a catchy soundbite on National Nine News. Isn't saying he's got a hairy chest giving Alexander Downer a compliment, seeing as how he's the only Minister who can use both the Men's and Women's bathrooms at Parliament House?


Though, even if they sound stupid, master-blaster and hairy-chested beating pale in comparison to the slogan President Bush is using to help his party in the mid-term elections this year...

I think it needs work

So, in summation, if you can't say it in three words without mentioning chest hair or 1980's reggae phrases, just don't say it at all.



And bring back Latham.