tommyiscooldotcom

With only I have no freaking idea how many days to the 2006 football World Cup, it's time for TOMMY'S I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SOCCER GUIDE TO THE CORLD WUP!

Emoticon vs Emoticon for the greatest prize in football

The 2006 World Cup, held bi-annually in Germany, is the pride of the soccer world. Football world, sorry. I know how some people get when you call football 'soccer'. Probably just as angry as me when people call me 'Tom', or 'Gazza', or 'Hey you, what are you doing to that tree'.

This year's World Cup holds a special interest for residents of the small island nation of Australia, who have qualified to lose in the first round for the first time in three decades. Children across the nation are putting up posters of their favourite Socceroos, like Harry Kewell, Mark Viduka, Tim Cahill and the woggy one. Other, less faggy children, are putting up posters of actual sportsmen, like Brett Finch.

I could talk about Australia's chances in their pool, or how Brazil's issued a warning with their four-goal display against New Zealand in their pre-match game, or how Poland are ready to use a five-man midfield or how Scolari warned Ronaldo to cool it or even how remember to copy paste another headline from official fifa world cup website here. But I won't. Because that would be pretending I knew anything. Sure, pretending I know stuff is how I got a GPA of 3.23 at uni (remember to bold that for emphasis tommy), but it just wouldn't be right.

So I'll talk about other stuff that's somewhat related to soccer enough to pass as content, and then post a funny picture.

So what's the go with all the soccer players being named Ronaldo. Even Ronaldinho was born as Ronaldo. Luckily, Ronaldinho got evicted from Big Brother last night, so he's free to play for whatever country he is from. Brazil maybe. Probably. Who cares. His family probably.

And how cool is the stadium?


That wasn't the funny picture by the way. I could probably make an arsehole joke or something.

Though, with a hole that size it would have to be a pretty big arse.

Hmm...

Ooowaaa Janette stop touching me there ooowaaa

Brazil look like the favourites going into the World Cup, though they won in 2002 and no team has won back-to-back World Cups since... Brazil in '58 and '62. Man I'm shit at this. Let's just cut straight to the funny soccer picture shall we.

God damn it I can't even get that right