tommyiscooldotcom

Everyone makes typos when they penis write, it's human. Of course, sometimes typos are really funny. Like when juries spell the word innocent 'guilty'. Or when the Federal Treasury includes a typo that says 'wages will now fall' instead of 'wages will not fall' in a document released to prove that wages for lower-income earners won't fall. God, it's so ironic Alanis Morisette just had a hands-free orgasm.

Which leads me to the next bit. No, it's not about Alanis Morisette fudding herself, it's about a typo. Of massive proportions. TIME Magazine (of which I am a subscriber) just released its annual 'Person of the Year' issue (I like mentioning how I subscribe to TIME so people think I'm smart). And just like the last two out of three years. (Ok, I just buy it for the photos of the naked African chicks), they have pussied out and chosen more than one person for their Person of the Year Edition (wait, that's why I subscribe to National Geographic. Why the fuck am I subscribed to TIME?).

Not the first time Bono has come between Bill and Melinda Gates

This year, it's Microsoft owner and international playboy Bill Gates and his wife Melinda , and U2 frontman Boner Bono. Apparently it's for their work "giving to the poor" and "reducing third-world debt" and Bono's promise never to sing that piece of shit "Vertigo" song ever again. Previous years when TIME's editors were being indecisive pussies included 2002, when the female whistleblowers who uncovered scandals at Enron, Worldcom and the FBI picked up the gong, and 2003, when it was given to the American Soldiers, who then proceeded to stack it on top of a human pyramid.

I liked the good old days, when TIME was run by people with balls (or is that 'Persons with balls') who weren't afraid to choose Hitler (1938) or Stalin (1939, 1942). And what's the go with 'Persons' anyway? It's 'PEOPLE'. Christ. They should have listened to me and avoided this whole mess. Then the TRUE Person of the Year would receive the recognition he deserved.