tommyiscooldotcom

I receive a lot of emails asking me about some of the places I mention on my blog. So in keeping with the spirit of education and geographic awareness (the two reasons I made the blog in the first place), I got my mate Scott to prepare a little dossier on foreign countries in a bit we're going to call:


Scott’s Foreign Intelligence Report (SFIR) for Che "Tommy" Guevara.


America

• Inventors of the Hot Dog and Fear of Black People.
• Intelligence reports an abundance of theme parks and "Pooty Tang: DVDs.
• Country is run by a President composed entirely of vegetation and foliage.
• Worship of this ‘bush’ is the dominant religion.

Indonesia

• Part of Oceania.
• Has a standing army of 250,000 equipped with permanent markers and packed lunches.
• Harbours terrorists leaders due to their status, denoted by hat and eyebrow size.
• Arrests models and other non-important, non-models for drug possession.

Michelle Leslie is Corby’s top rival for the ‘Miss Fucking Stupid Tourist’ Pageant 2005

Saudi Arabia

• Technically a ‘Kingdom’ due to its non-democratic and therefore evil political system.
• Oil barons of the world, but with few cars it is primarily used to piss western nations off.
• May or may not be home to Lawrence, but I didn’t have 5 hours to find out.
• Plan to charge them $1.20 a litre for tap water. Reference: Sydney Water.

Middle Earth

• Rich supply of herbal supplements, homosexual connotations and Pooty Tang DVDs.
• UN weapon inspectors were informed there were certain areas where they shall not pass!
• Plant and fauna includes giant talking socialist trees, possibly homosexual.
• Surplus population of old men with varying levels of beardage.

Gandalf my old friend, I like what you’ve done with your beard

China

• See: Australian Universities.

Kellyville

• The rouge suburb-state of Kellyville has harboured evil for too long.
• The dense jungle terrain makes traversing difficult, despite the anti-drunk driver guttering.
• Unchecked, savage locals without quality broadband launch terrorist posts and artpads.
• Possible hiding place of Richie Bin Laden and his al’UWS network.

Photographic evidence that Kellyville has WMDs containing super-AIDS



Stay tuned for future reports courtesy of The Democratic Republic of TommyIsCoolDotCom.