tommyiscooldotcom

Well, they blew up London. I'm not going to make a long post about how terrible this whole business is because it's pretty obvious that whoever did this is a sub-human fucknut who should be forced to share a cell with the monkey from Outbreak. I will, however, continue to bitch about how the event was reported on the television, because if I can't bitch about stuff that nobody cares about, then THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON.

When news breaks, Australians turn to Channel Nine. Then they'll flick to Channel Seven to see if that hotty Chris Bath is reporting, then because they feel guilty they'll flick to the ABC. If they vote Green or don't speak English, they'll flick to the SBS to get an 'international' view of the news. And then they might flick through the Foxtel news channels if they have them, or maybe go on the internet. At no time will they ever flick to Channel Ten. Ever. Channel Ten is to news coverage what porn is to character development. Channel Ten is the person in disaster movies who knows the plane is running out of fuel but doesn't tell anyone to keep them from panicking. If Channel Ten had their way, Australia would be encased in a protective shield where we could watch Everyone Loves Raymond repeats in peace. Food would be provided by Ian Hewitson, and Moira from GMA would read us bedtime stories as Sandra Sully gave us head massages.

But try as they may with Tim Bailey's weather and Vic LaRusso's Mix 106 Traffic Chopper and their ridiculous headlines that use too much alliteration ('Next on Ten, Terrific Toddlers Test this season's Terrific new Toys') and the obvious sexual tension between Ron Wilson and Jessica Rowe, Channel Ten ain't got nothing on the undisputed leader of worldwide shitty news - FOX NEWS.



Bitching about Fox News on a blog isn't exactly groundbreaking stuff, but it's just so EVIL. Look at this, where Fox News anchor Brian Kilmeade looks at the bright side of the London underground being ripped apart by explosions:

KILMEADE: And he [British Prime Minister Tony Blair] made the statement, clearly shaken, but clearly determined. This is his second address in the last hour. First to the people of London, and now at the G8 summit, where their topic Number 1 --believe it or not-- was global warming, the second was African aid. And that was the first time since 9-11 when they should know, and they do know now, that terrorism should be Number 1. But it's important for them all to be together. I think that works to our advantage, in the Western world's advantage, for people to experience something like this together, just 500 miles from where the attacks have happened.

Or Fox News' primary anchor Brit Hume talking about the financial benefit of the stock market tumble after 60 or so people died in a series of co-ordinated attacks that crippled the capital city of America's strongest ally:

HUME: Well, maybe. The other thing is, of course, people have -- you know, the market was down. It was down yesterday, and you know, you may have had some bargain-hunting going on. I mean, my first thought when I heard -- just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, "Hmmm, time to buy." Others may have thought that as well. But you never know about the markets. But obviously, if the markets had behaved badly, that would obviously add to people's sense of alarm about it. But there has been a lot of reassurance coming, particularly in the way that -- partly in the way the Brits handled all this, but also in the way that officials here handled it.

Dear you Crazy Brits,

Thanks for tea, crumpets, Super Nanny and getting blown up so our stock portfolios go up.

Love, America

p.s plz send more troops preferably black