tommyiscooldotcom

Well it's time for my man Dj Scotty to post another guest article because I'm spent from all those witty 24 observations. Also a big shout out to millersnose from the League Unlimited forums for giving me double digit hits on Friday. So yes. It's about Hitler. Who was right wing btw.



Does it come in a whiter white?

So I bet you are all standing around condom vending machines discussing the intricacies of 24, all the while neglecting the most important crisis that faces our planet: the return of Hitler!


Must… Destroy… Genetic Variation

No he is not living in an apartment with Elvis and Tupac; Hitler strikes at us from beyond the grave. Apparently the achievements and ambitions of Adolf Hitler have inspired subsequent generations of Nazis. In my extensive travels of the internet I found a place that surpassed all expectations of this comical topic: The Hitler Phenomenon.

“Even the enemies of Aryan mankind know that Hitler lives. If He were dead, they would not vilify and defame Him or blaspheme against His immortal name. But in their obsessive hatred, they feel His awesome presence and instinctively realize that Adolf Hitler is very much alive—that He is not yesterday’s history, but today’s good news for all Aryankind and for the entire Earth.”

It appears that during his bogus journey through the afterlife ‘He’ has also acquired the rights to capitalise references to his name, which I believe was copywrited by God in his bestselling biography ‘The Bible’. Moving back to the point…

Something never sat right in my mind when they never found Hitler’s body, and of course his ascension to legendary demi-god status is the next logical step for white supremacist thinkers everywhere. More troubling still, Hitler, unlike Che Guevara, doesn’t need an extensive product line ranging from t-shirts to coffee mugs. This threat appears to be much more dire than first anticipated.


Do you know where your daughter is?

So this whole episode started a train of thought… if Hitler can strike beyond the grave, then surely others famous figures can too! It is therefore important to avoid the following deceased, both in influential and scary transparent spectre form. The Pentagon has forwarded me the following wanted list: Stalin, Harold Holt, the Wolf Man, and the remains of the Smashing Pumpkins.

For future reference regarding Nazi fighting tactics, please consult the Indiana Jones trilogy and Wolfenstein 3D.